MINISTERS MATTER

When pastors need a pastor - Thomas Rainer

As someone who spends most of his time being a friend to pastors, this blog by LifeWay's Thomas Rainer  really touched my heart. I hope it does yours as well.

Please join him and others in praying for and loving on your pastor.

Thanks,

Barry

http://www.ThomRainer.com/

The pastor saw me walking in the hallway of the church yesterday, and he quickly stopped me for a brief chat. I knew something was wrong. He told me that his elderly father was sick, and that he was worried. Struggling to hold back tears, he said, “I’m still an eight-year-old little boy when I think of my dad. I would do anything for him.”

I offered words of consolation, probably insufficient, and a promise of prayer. He then departed quickly.

You see, other people wanted to talk to him. They wanted their pastor to hear about their hurts. They wanted him to minister to them. And he did so gladly.  He loves his congregation dearly. And though the pastor is hurting deeply, he does not hesitate to pour himself out for those God has called him to serve.

Shortly after he left me, he preached two more sermons. He preached with passion. He preached as a man who totally loves his church.

He did all of this even though his own heart was heavy and his emotions were raw.

After all, he is a pastor.

Looking for an Army of Pastors to Pastors

The expectations of a pastor are always high. Most are expected to omnipresent, omniscience, and always energetic and ready to serve. But these men are people with their own limitations and their own struggles. They hurt just like the rest of us, sometimes more than the rest of us.

What if every pastor had a number of people in his church who committed to be pastors to their pastor?  These “pastors” would not be the same as those who have the specific call of God and the qualifications noted in 1 Timothy 3. Instead they would include a host of “regular” folks like you and me who love our pastors, and who want somehow to help them as they carry their own burdens and hurts.

A Modest Proposal

My proposal, at least for now, is very simple. I am encouraging and praying that thousands of men and women in congregations across America will commit to pray for their pastors every day. Such a time of prayer can be brief and concise. I pray for my pastor every day at the same of time with rare exception. Sometimes I pray for him for 10 minutes or more, but most of them time it’s a brief prayer of just a couple of minutes.

What if we became “pastors” to our pastors by praying for these men of God every day? What if millions of Christians in churches across the world would take on this intercessory ministry for our pastors? I can only imagine how pastors would be strengthened and, thus, churches would become healthier.

Will You Join Me?

I saw this pastor as he walked away from me yesterday. I knew his burden was heavy, so I prayed to the One who is able to carry all of our burdens. I prayed that God would comfort him, his dad, and his family. And I prayed that God would give him strength to be the shepherd to rest of us.

Will you join me? Will you consider setting aside just a couple of minutes a day to pray for your pastor? Will you encourage others to do so? Will you be part of a movement of care, concern, and intercession for these men who pour out their hearts to us every day?

Feel free to make any comments, but I would especially like to hear from you who will commit to pray for your pastor. Simply say something like “I will pray.” Or you might even mention your pastor by name.

Thank God for our pastors.

They pour out their lives for those they have been called to serve.

The least we can do is to pray for them a few minutes every day.

Every Pastor needs a Pastor (a friend) - Barry Boucher

I appreciated @Bill Reichart posting this on twitter. I have listed these stats in the past and it is important that all pastors are reminded of how important they are to us.

http://goo.gl/VqAEI

Peter Drucker, the late leadership guru, said that the four hardest jobs in America (and not necessarily in order, he added) are:

The President of the United States
A university president
A CEO of a hospital and
A pastor

Do you believe that?

Some of you may think that it's a dream job. You can read the Bible all day, pray, play a little golf and preach.

Here is the secret. Being a pastor is hard work. It’s not for the faint of heart.

The reality is - the job of a pastor can be 24/7 and carry unique challenges.

Some pastors wear themselves out trying to help people. Some wound their family because they are so involved in ministry. Others flourish in their ministry and personal life. 

Here are a couple of statistics about pastors.

90% of pastors said the ministry was completely different than what they thought it would be like before they entered the ministry.
70% say they have a lower self-image now than when they first started.
40% report a conflict with a church member at least once a month.
85% of pastors said their greatest problem is they are tired of dealing with problem people, such as disgruntled elders, deacons, worship leaders, worship teams, board members, and associate pastors.
The #1 reason pastors leave the ministry is that church people are not willing to go the same direction and goal of the pastor. Pastors believe God wants them to go in one direction but the people are not willing to follow or change.
40% of pastors say they have considered leaving their pastorates in the last three months.
70% of pastors do not have someone they consider a close friend.
50% of the ministers starting out will not last 5 years.
70% felt God called them to pastoral ministry before their ministry began, but after three years of ministry, only 50% still felt called.
4,000 new churches begin each year and 7,000 churches close.
Over 1,700 pastors left the ministry every month last year.
Over 3,500 people a day left the church last year.
50% of pastors feel so discouraged that they would leave the ministry if they could, but have no other way of making a living.
45.5 % of pastors say that they've experienced depression or burnout to the extent that they needed to take a leave of absence from ministry.

According to the Barna report - the profession of “Pastor” is near the bottom of a survey of the most-respected professions, just above “car salesman”.

This is a most dangerous and difficult calling - not to be entered into lightly - and it is a calling that is in dire need of the prayers and support of those in the church, family and of close, personal confidants. 

That begs the question, are you praying for your pastor?  Pastor, do you have someone in your life who is safe? Someone you would consider a friend?

We can't just set aside one month as Pastor Appreciation Month, all the while relegating the other remaining 11 months as critique, criticize and combat the Pastor Months.  Pastors need our support and prayers.

The Fuller Institute, George Barna, and Pastoral Care Inc. provide the statistics in this blog.

H. B. London, Jr., on life, ministry and family.

This is an exceptional interview done by Focus on the Family Canada with H. B. London, Jr.

http://www.focusonthefamily.ca/

In an exclusive, candid interview with Focus on the Family Canada, H.B. London Jr. shares the wisdom he’s gained from more than 50 years in the ministry and 20 years as the “pastor to pastors” at Focus on the Family U.S.

We had the privilege of spending a few days with London on the eve of his retirement. In this candid discussion, he shares how the ministry has changed over the decades, important life lessons he’s learned, and his top five tips for answering God’s call in your life.

Focus on Pastors team: How did you end up coming to Focus 20 years ago?

H.B. London Jr.: I was Jim [Dobson] and Shirley’s pastor, as well as Jim’s cousin. We sat around the dinner table one night and discussed the crisis letters that Focus [on the Family U.S.] was receiving from pastors around the country. We talked about what could be done about it. Jim asked me if we could actually work together without killing each other [laughs] and that is kind of how it all began. We didn’t know what it was all going to look like. I thought that I would just go around and visit with pastors and they would just welcome me into their offices. But they couldn’t care less about something like that. So for a few months I prayed and asked God what we were supposed to do. The message I received was that I was supposed to be a “pastor to pastors” – a term that really hadn’t been used yet. My goal has been to help facilitate spiritual restoration and renewal with clergy couples and help them manage their time, finances and their personal lives – including their family.

FP: What things did you do to support pastors?

HB: We tried to offer something new each year that might help pastors in what they do. We didn’t really know what to do; it was a lot of trial and error and we figured it out along the way. It was like a teacher staying one chapter ahead of the class. We did things like the clergy call-in line, the Shepherd’s Covenant and Pastor Appreciation Month. I ended up being away a lot, which I had always done.

FP: How did being away a lot impact your own family?

HB: I was of the generation that believed that if you looked after the ministry then the Lord would look after your family. Ministry was about success and numbers and image. My boys resented the fact that I was away so much when they were young. It created havoc in our marriage – it took a real toll.

FP: You’ve been to Canada a number of times to minister to pastors here. Do you have some favourite memories of ministering in Canada?

HB: I was scheduled to come to a conference in Alberta when 9/11 happened and I ended up not being able to get there. Another time, I was trying to fly into Halifax for a conference and the weather was so bad that the plane tried to land twice and eventually had to fly back to Toronto.

FP: Do you see some differences between ministry in Canada and the United States?

HB: That’s a hard one to answer. We are close neighbours and have a lot in common – especially in the cities. I suppose I see that there is less respect for the average pastor here. Churches are possibly a bit more conservative, especially the smaller ones, and I don’t think your pastors get paid as much. Of course, you don’t have health care to worry about, so that’s good. I’ve also learned that Canadians don’t like it when we refer to the U.S. and what we do there [chuckles].

I think that wherever you pastor, there are some similar challenges. Most every pastor needs to see something happen as a result of the time they put into their ministry. You can’t judge effectiveness by what happens in the four walls of your church. Most congregations are pretty settled in and don’t change a lot. The same people sit in the same place every Sunday. Sometimes you need to look outside of the church to get satisfaction, like being a chaplain or being a coach of a team – just to see some progress.

FP: What inspired you to write so much?

HB: At the beginning, there wasn’t much out there for pastors. I mean, anyone can write a book on pastoring, but most books are about church growth or leadership. There just wasn’t much there for their personal life. That’s why I first wrote Pastors at Risk. After that, publishers wanted more.

FP: Is there still a book you would like to write?

HB: I think so, but I don’t have a plan. When I think of how hard it is to write, well . . .

FP: You’ve done hundreds of interviews of pastors, authors and other professionals. Do you have some memorable ones?

HB: I interviewed Bill Bright before he died and Adrian Rogers before he died; Jerry Falwell before he died. They were memorable because they were icons. They gave their whole lives to the ministry and they became models to the rest of us. It was a real privilege. Interviewing Jim Dobson was also great. He wasn’t in control [of the interview] and I got to ask the questions and bring out his personal life.

There was one interview I never got: Billy Graham. I interviewed his son, daughter, nephew and grandson, but not him.

FP: Do you have any words of advice for young pastors?

HB: Pastors can get bright eyed and bushy tailed about the call and never look at the price.

FP: Do you have any advice on answering the call?

HB:

Make sure your spouse is on board with you. If not, it’s like dragging a weight behind you. You need to agree on what God has asked you to do. Find out what your strengths are and play to your strengths. Every pastor seems to say that their strength is preaching, but it’s not true. It’s okay to choose the part of the world you want to minister in. Ministry has a way of tearing you and your family apart. Some pastors take on smaller responsibilities to be near family. That’s real smart. Don’t take shortcuts. They will eventually catch up with you. If you don’t study enough, steal sermons, don’t do pastoral things – you won’t get close to people. Pastors are so afraid of being hurt that they stay away from people rather than embrace them. You need to visit them, have coffee with them. You need to be there. We tend to over talk and not listen. We need to listen. Of course the closer you are to them, the more they will criticize and judge you. It’s a price I was willing to pay. Guard your heart. There are so many temptations in ministry.

FP: What about those who choose ministry as a second career, coming to it later in life?

HB: Your call needs to be affirmed by an older elder. Time needs to go by. For instance, three months later, do you still feel that way? There’s the question, “Can you do anything else?” You will need some education; are you willing to go to school?

I believe God gives us some turf to minister on. It’s not necessarily big or formidable, but it is still significant because in that turf are the souls of men. It’s not our responsibility to gripe about the size of our turf but to make the most of it that we can. We don’t concentrate on size but on meeting the need.

FP: Are there some things you wished you would have done differently?

HB: I wish I would have studied more. I wish I was smarter.

FP: Billy Graham said he wished he would have spent more time with his family.

HB: Yes, he said he would have travelled less, spent more time with his family and studied more. I agree with him.

FP: In the past, you’ve talked about the four quarters of ministry.

HB: The first quarter is where you don’t know the trade and your challenge is to not get discouraged. The second quarter is where you really learn the trade and you get more responsibilities. The third quarter is when you’re most effective. You retool and settle in for the duration. The fourth quarter is where you see the goal line and you want to finish well. You use your influence to encourage others. It’s funny; the challenges of the first quarter come back in the end. You don’t really know the future and there’s a lot of uncertainty. It takes a lot of faith.

FP: Are there some particular challenges about the quarter you are in now?

HB: I’m in the fourth quarter for sure. I worry about outliving my usefulness. “Will anyone want me to share my experiences with them?” I also worry if I can relax enough so I can enjoy life. I don’t know what’s next for me. We are moving to Palm Springs, but I can’t just sit out in the desert and rot. I need something to do. A lot of guys quit and destroy themselves – they atrophy, withdraw from contributing. I worry about that.

FP: What are your plans from here?

HB: I hope I can minister to young pastors. Maybe have some of them in for rest, recreation and restoration. Maybe help churches decide what they want to be. I’d be happy if some church let me do hospital visitation for them. Retirement is a time of reordering your life; it’s not all known to you. I want to pay back and invest in others. I want to listen, observe and maybe I can keep someone from hurting themselves.

FP: What do you hope people will see as the legacy you leave behind?

HB: That he had great passion for what he did and gave everything he had. I never wanted to be anything other than what I am: a pastor to pastors. I honestly love pastors because they empathize with everyone. I hate seeing pastors who are “hot dogs,” who are arrogant and like to talk about what they’ve done. I just want to say to them, “You better be careful.”

There’s no promotion from being a pastor. I don’t get the same “highs” at Focus that I got being a pastor. Of course, I don’t get the same lows, either. [laughs]

I’m grateful that I’ve been able to help Jim Daly with the transition. We’re close friends. I’ve been able to be his friend and confidant during a time when not many people – other than the [Focus U.S.] board – were. He’s a good man and I really love him.

FP: We want to thank you for all you’ve invested in all of us. Thanks for your ministry to us here in Canada.

HB: I just appreciate what you all are doing here in Canada; your passion for pastors. It’s wonderful how you embrace the clergy and their families. Your new retreat centre will give you a different dimension in your ministry. I don’t know what will happen in the U.S. We have enough Pastor to Pastor pre-recorded until the end of the year. I think there will be a new host. I’m not sure all that will happen there.

FP: We hope we will be able to see you back here in Canada in the future.

HB: I would be honoured. It’s been a great ride.

H.B. London Jr. retired at the end of July from his responsibilities at Focus on the Family U.S. Click here to listen to his final broadcast. He has relocated to Palm Springs where he plans to continue to live out his call. He looks forward to “controlling his own time,” as he puts it. You can find him at HBLondon.org.

Our deep thanks to the Lord and to London for his influence on us – for some, on a personal basis, and for others, through the ripples he created.

When Pastors Experience Depression - Thomas Rainer

http://www.thomrainer.com/2011/07/when-pastors-experience-depression.php

Depression was once a topic reserved for “other people.” It certainly was not something those in vocational ministry experienced. Perhaps it would be more accurate to say that ministers rarely admitted that they were depressed. After all, weren’t these servants of God supposed to have their acts together? How could pastors and other ministers who have the call of God on their lives experience the dark valley of depression?

Ministers often feel shame and failure when they go through bouts of depression. And their reticence to tell anyone about their plights has exacerbated the problem.

But today more and more ministers are willing to talk about this issue. Recent articles in Christian Post, the New York Times, and Paul Tripp’s Gospel Coalition blog address the problem candidly and proactively.

A Growing Problem

The articles note that the problem of depression in the ministry is not only real, but that it is growing. Further, the rate of depression among ministers is now higher than the rate of the general population.

What are the causes of the depression? More importantly, what can be done to help ministers who are walking through this valley?

The Possible Causes

My list of possible causes is not exhaustive. It is based on the research of others as well as my own anecdotal conversations with pastors and other Christian leaders who experience depression.

· Spiritual warfare. The Enemy does not want God’s servants to be effective in ministry. He will do whatever it takes to hurt ministers and their ministries.

· Unrealistic expectations. The expectations and demands upon a pastor are enormous. They are unrealistic. But if one person’s expectations are not met, that person can quickly let the pastor know that he is a failure.

· Greater platforms for critics. In “the good old days,” a critic was typically limited to telephone, mail, and in-person meetings to criticize a minister. Today the critics have the visible and pervasive platforms of email, blogs, and social media such as Facebook and Twitter.

· Failure to take time away from the church or place of ministry. Workaholism leads to burnout. Burnout leads to depression.

· Marriage and family problems. Too often the pastor neglects his family as he cares for the larger church family.

· Financial strains. Many pastors simply do not have sufficient income from the churches they serve. That financial stress can lead to depression. Some pastors do not know how to manage they money they do have, leading to further financial strain.

· The problem of comparison. Every pastor will always know of a church that is larger and more effective. Every pastor will always know of another pastor who seems more successful. The comparison game can be debilitating to some pastors.

Seeking to Help and Offer Solutions

Pastors need our prayers and support. I challenge you church members to organize intercessory prayer warriors for your pastors. Get each person to commit to praying for him five minutes every day. Fight the battles of spiritual warfare with prayer.

Likewise, make sure your pastor has sufficient time for his own prayer life. As he spends more time with God, he will be able to deal with the demands of ministry more effectively. He will handle the barbs of the critics better. He will not be prone to compare his ministry with others. His hope and identity will be more dependent on his relationship with Christ.

Make certain your pastor takes time off every year. Vacations must be mandatory. He likewise needs to take at least one day off each week. Look for signs that he is not giving sufficient time to his family, and help him to find the time to do so. His wife and children cannot be neglected.

Find out if your pastor is compensated adequately. If not, work quietly and prayerfully with key leaders in the church to rectify that problem.

Thank God for pastors. Thank God for their lives, their families, and their ministries. May we who sit under their ministries and serve in their churches do all we can to keep them focused and healthy: physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

Health Update & Prayer Request - Barry Boucher

Hi Everyone,

It has been an interesting last few weeks post surgery and adjusting to life without a prostate. Everything I've read on what to expect has, for the most part, been accurate.

Now I understand what you ladies go through once a month, I have the joy of going through my own stuff on a daily basis so I am full of compassion for you.

I am feeling well but don't have as much energy. I tire easily, which is very unusual for me, so naps are the order of the day when I can get them.

I am taking time to rest, pray, read and meditate on the Scriptures and just enjoying the simple things of life. I have a wonderful CD of just healing scriptures on my iPod that help me focus my heart on God's promises of health and long life.

We have been re-doing our back yard since last October and over the last few weeks it has taken shape. This has enabled me to work outdoors cutting grass, cleaning up old patio stones, interlock brick and odds and sods. Feels good to be in the fresh air, to exercise, bend, lift and work within my limits.

I have also been taking short motorcycle rides to get used to the Honda VTX 1800F. For those of you who ride you'll understand how wonderful the open road really is. The bike is double the weight of the Triumph and when full of fuel comes in at 800lbs. But, it is a cruiser model which allows me to sit relaxed and low to the ground.

PRAYER REQUESTS    

What can you pray about at this time?

I will get blood work done next week in preparation for our meeting with Dr. Malone at the Cancer Clinic on June 8th., at 1:10pm. This is a critical June appointment.

We will be given the results of the blood work and Joyce and I are believing for a PSA reading of 0. This will allow for radiation and hormone therapy to begin immediately and continue daily until mid-August.

Let us all be in agreement for a PSA reading of 0!

If the PSA reading is higher that 0 then it means the cancer has spread to other areas of my body and that will mean a completely different approach to treatment based on where it is located and what can be done.

Thank you for your concern, your prayers of faith, your words, cards, e-mails, facebook comments and tweets. They are all so uplifting and encouraging. Don't stop, each one comes in just at the right time.

Blessings to you and your loved ones and thank you for being such a blessing to our family.

Proverbs 4:20-22, "My son, be attentive to my words; incline your ear to my sayings. Let them not escape from your sight; keep them within your heart. For they are life to those who find them, and healing to all their flesh.

Barry & Joyce

Seven Pieces of Advice for Pastors - Ron Edmondson

I was in the business world longer than I’ve been a pastor, but I came into vocational ministry with years of experience with life and leadership.  It has been amazing to watch how those principles have transferred for God’s glory and my use. I am frequently asked by pastors if I have any advice for those who are starting in ministry.

http://www.ronedmondson.com/2010/09/7-pieces-of-advice-for-pastors.html

With that in mind, here are 7 pieces of advice I would share with all pastors:

1. Don’t trade searching for a “Word” on Sunday for searching for a personal relationship with God.  That’s where you’ll get your “word”.

2. Don’t allow a need to protect your reputation to keep you from welcoming accountability. You need it!

3. Never compromise one Biblical principle to keep another (shepherding the flock/caring for your family).  Your family needs you and so does your church.

4. Don’t waste energy on those people who aren’t trying to help you build your ministry, but trying instead to tear it down.  (My friend David Foster says, “Seek your approval among the people to whom God has sent you to minister.“)

5. Allow criticism to shape you, but not control you.  Every leader doing anything of value attracts critics.  Criticism usually has elements of merit, but it shouldn’t be the deciding factor in what you do.

6. Don’t get so comfortable to where you refuse to walk by faith.  God called you to this.

7. Life is always full of heartache and always full of joy.  Keeping your eyes on Jesus helps you navigate through the extremes of life and experience the joy.

Ten Things You May Not Know About A Senior Pastor - Ron Edmonston

I had an opportunity recently thanks to Casey Graham to speak to a group of executive pastors. I was asked to give my perspective as a senior pastor, since each of them report to one. I thought you might also be interested in what I shared. Since I was addressing other issues in addition to this, I was limited on time, so I have added a few since I spoke with them.

Leading from the number one position is overwhelming at times. We know Christ is ultimately in charge, but we also know it seems everyone looks to us to have all the answers.

People tell the senior pastor all kinds of things about what is happening in their life or in the lives of others…many we would rather not know sometimes…and sometimes the weight of others problems we carry is enormous.

Most pastors walk with uncertainty and insecurity. Depression is common for many senior pastors.

Fear of failure is the number one fear of men…and senior pastors are not immune.

Sometimes we allow fear to cause us to get protective. We protect ourselves, our territory, and our position.

We face the same temptations and occasional spiritual dryness everyone else faces and know we need accountability.

We have issues and struggles like people do, because of past failures or present fears.

There is a loneliness of leadership and many pastors suffer from it.

We seldom know who we can trust, which is why we become guarded. Most senior pastors have been burned by someone once trusted.

We know the staff talks about us like they would any boss.

Granted, not every pastor faces each of these, and i happen to be in an extremely healthy church right now, but in talking with dozens of senior pastors each year…and being one…I know this is a representative list for many.

Senior pastors find joy in our work and know we are in the center of God’s will vocationally. I don’t intend to take anything away from that in this post. We serve in a called position, so we are doing what we have been asked of God to do. When I share any post like this, however, I have come to expect a lecture on the need to depend on Christ for these issues, which only further demonstrates my points further. Senior pastors are to fully rely on Christ’s strength, as is every other believer. We just happen to be like Elijah…”a man just like us”. (James 5:17)

Ten Random Things You Should Know About Pastors - Ron Edmonston

….these are true for me, but I suspect they may be for your pastor too:

The temptations you face…I face…

The larger the church gets…the less I know about anything…

I may not be the best person to ask…but I can point you to the right people…

The better the message…the longer it takes me to prepare it…

Even though I’m teaching it…I may not yet have mastered it…but I’m working on it…

I get nervous every time I start to preach…sometimes sick to my stomach nervous…

Sunday is not the only day I work…Honestly…

Your story probably doesn’t surprise me anymore…but I am never callous towards it…

To my family I’m not a pastor…just a husband and dad…

If you tell me something on Sunday morning…you probably should back it up with an email to remind me…

Death By Ministry - Eugene Cho

Is pastoral ministry a dangerous profession?

Several years ago, I spent several hours per week doing research (and meeting with other pastors) about pastoral health and vitality for my denomination.

I chose to spend some time doing that for selfish reasons. I was and am still learning how to take better care of myself in ministry (as evidenced by the scary picture above) – while completely acknowledging that sometimes, it’s not supposed to feel right. We all know that work…well…is supposed to be laborious. And those in ministry know that ministry in itself is difficult. There’s no way to get around it, but…

What I learned was pretty shocking and heartbreaking, but one of the conclusions I came to was that as ministry leaders, pastors, and other pursuers of God’s work, it helps to understand some of the challenges ahead and to be proactive rather than reactive.

Yesterday, I posted Part I of this post entitled, Why Is Being a Pastor So Unhealthy. The reasons are complex, and I’ll acknowledge that when one looks for “doom and gloom,” you’ll find some discouraging things. I can focus an entry purely on the joys and blessings of pastoral ministry and feel confident I can write a compelling piece. But these statistics (and stories that many of us are aware of) and our personal stories are hard to ignore.

Here’s a summary of what I learned and shared:

There are varying reports from different sources, but I believe most will agree that the ministerial profession (life as pastors) is now considered one of the most dangerous or unhealthiest professions. It’s usually rated last or second to last. Read this from a local Northwest minister, Mark, on a comment on an earlier post:

“At the first church I served, we had an insurance agent who was a member of the congregation. When I went to see him about some auto insurance needs, he said 'Hey, wanna see something that will scare the crap out of you?'…He pulled out a form that had various professions rated for their risk of giving life insurance policies to…Anyway, to make a lengthening story shorter, he showed me that clergy members were in the same category as Deep Sea Welders and Loggers as the second highest risk group to give life insurance policies to. We were behind crab fishermen but ahead of munitions workers.

It was a little disturbing to know that statistically I was gonna die due to my profession before someone who builds explosives. This was back in 1994; the statistics may be better (or worse) now.”

If you don’t believe the above comment, read some of these statistics:

Forty-eight percent of them think their work is hazardous to their family’s well being. Another 45.5% will experience burnout or depression that will make them leave their jobs. And 70% say their self-esteem is lower now than when they started their position. They have the 2nd highest divorce rate among professions. Who are they? They are pastors. Here are some more overwhelming statistics from this article.

80% of pastors say they have insufficient time with spouse and that ministry has a negative effect on their family.

40% report a serious conflict with a parishioner once a month.

33% say that being in ministry is an outright hazard to their family.

75% report they’ve had a significant stress-related crisis at least once in their ministry.

58% of pastors indicate that their spouse needs to work either part time or full time to supplement the family income.

56% of pastors’ wives say they have no close friends.

Pastors who work fewer than 50 hrs per week are 35% more likely to be terminated.

40% of pastors considered leaving the pastorate in the past three months.

Feeling dizzy? Take a breath. Here are some more statistics:

Fifteen hundred pastors leave the ministry each month due to moral failure, spiritual burnout, or contention in their churches.

Fifty percent of pastors’ marriages will end in divorce.

Eighty percent of pastors and eighty-four percent of their spouses feel unqualified and discouraged in their role as pastors.

Fifty percent of pastors are so discouraged that they would leave the ministry if they could, but have no other way of making a living.

Eighty percent of seminary and Bible school graduates who enter the ministry will leave the ministry within the first five years.

Seventy percent of pastors constantly fight depression.

Almost forty percent polled said they have had an extra-marital affair since beginning their ministry.

Seventy percent said the only time they spend studying the Word is when they are preparing their sermons. [compiled by Darrin Patrick]

While I love being a pastor and even more, being called to be a pastor, I want folks to know how incredibly difficult it is at times to handle the complexities and stress of being a minister. Finally, at the age of 39, I feel more at peace at how to create boundaries, love my church, better care for my wife and children, support my fellow staff, handle criticism, etc. but there are times, I feel clueless and overwhelmed. I’ve been having occasional visitors from a blog started by and for pastors’ wives [couldn't find one for pastors' husbands]. Some of their comments have been difficult to read because they hit so close to home. I will not post a link to their blog here, but here are two comments:

“Oh, and the financial part is tough. We live on poverty level. I don’t know how we are going to pay all the bills sometimes, much less buy groceries. The Lord always comes through, though, and on a really tough week, someone in the church will anonymously give us a gift. We have no in between at our church. It’s either people trying to help us out (it’s all there what we make each week – in black and white), or it’s people that have this attitude - ‘Pastors are supposed to suffer and sacrifice. It’s part of the job.’ Has anyone else noticed that mentality? I don’t know where it comes from, and it is one of my biggest pet peeves. Pastors aren’t supposed to drive nice cars, have nice houses, or buy new clothes. And we are always supposed to be worried about making ends meet - I wonder if it is just half of my church that thinks that way.”

Here’s the second comment:

“Today my son approached my husband and randomly said, 'I guess you’re going back to church now.' And he wasn’t going anywhere! During seminary, he would walk around the house saying, 'Bye bye, Daddy. Bye bye, daddy!' So sad, but very true. It’s definitely a calling, isn’t it? I told my husband the other day: 'In my classes that I took to prepare me to be a minister’s wife, they told me over and over again, ‘it is the loneliest job in the world,’ but I never realized it until we were in the role…'"

While I feel solid support from my staff, my elder board, and the church as a whole, I know that many of my peers do not feel this way.

Simply, pastors are often underpaid, underappreciated, and at times, undermined.

There is strain on their marriages and families. Two other incredibly real factors that add complexities to the ministerial calling are: 1) the cultural complexity and dynamic of the 21st century and 2) the nebulous but real nature of the spiritual realm and battle. The reality is that being a pastor is not just merely a job nor should it be one. Ministry is a calling. It’s both amazing and incredibly difficult. While it isn’t my desire to overdramatize the significance of ministry, I do believe that the Evil One seeks to impede and harm the work that is to take place through ministers and pastors.

As for the “cultural complexity of the 21st century,” I think this quote captures my sentiment:

“My viewpoint tends to be more organizational, so my take on being a pastor is that it is an impossible job. Here you are asked to be the lead preacher and teacher, available for counseling sessions, leading a staff of people that can span such responsibilities as missions and janitorial, serving as the public face for your organization in the community, networking with other leaders at Christian conferences and denominational gatherings. That’s a lot of hats!…Let’s finally consider the financial issues. I don’t believe pastors are paid very well, so that’s obviously a downer. And if you are paid well, and sometimes even if you aren’t, that has its own issues, for congregants can quite easily feel they own you, since they’re paying your way. What other organization is the person at top in such an awkward financial relationship with his or her co-workers and clients?” [h/t Lee H]

My point is very simple:

Please care, pray, and love your pastors (and church staff) in your churches.

Seriously, give them a nice pay raise, more time off, regular opportunities to get away for even a day retreat to pray, buy them some dinner certificates, honor their spouses, love their children, pray for them, and regularly share your appreciation and affirmation.

Now, I know that this can easily be intended to perpetuate the victim language or mentality, but it’s a two-way street. Churches must seek to honor and care for their pastors and staff and build healthy structures to ensure such care. Similarly, pastors and their families must make choices to be holistically healthy! We must rest, Sabbath, enjoy God, love the Scriptures not simply for the sake of sermon preparations, be in deep friendships and community, exercise, work on our jump shot, continue to be a reader and learner, love and honor our spouses, nurture our children, laugh and have fun, eat healthy and drink good refreshments [use your imagination here], examine and repent of any possible addictions, and [add your contribution here].

We need to lean on God, stop our self-sufficiency, and repent of the idolatry to please all those around us. Easier said than done, but it needs to begin somewhere. Why not now?

Some good news:

Despite the intense nature of pastoral ministry, it is also immensely fulfilling. Huh? It makes total sense to me. According to a recent survey, the top five professions are clergy, physical therapists, firefighters, education administrators, and painters/sculptors:

Clergy ranked by far the most satisfied and the most generally happy of 198 occupations. Eighty-seven percent of clergy said they were “very satisfied” with their work, compared with an average 47 percent for all workers. Sixty-seven percent reported being “very happy,” compared with an average 33 percent for all workers. Jackson Carroll, Williams professor emeritus of religion and society at Duke Divinity School, found similarly high satisfaction when he studied Protestant and Catholic clergy, despite relatively modest salaries and long hours.

“They look at their occupation as a calling,” Carroll said. “A pastor does get called on to enter into some of the deepest moments of a person’s life, celebrating a birth and sitting with people at times of illness or death. There’s a lot of fulfillment.” [read the entire article]

So while pastoral ministry is at times exhausting, draining, depressing, and overwhelming, it’s also meaningful and fulfilling.

May God grant you grace, courage, and strength.

God bless you pastors. God bless your spouses and your children. May you bless your flock and may you be blessed by them. And together, may you bless the Lord as you seek to bless His creation.

http://www.churchleaders.com/

PASTORS AND SEXUAL SIN - Perry Noble

Dear Pastor,

Sexual temptation IS going to HIT you…there’s nothing you can really do about it except deciding NOW to MAKE WAR and actually do what God commands of us in Nehemiah 4:14.

My advice for those facing extreme sexual temptation…

#1 – Don’t buy the lie – you KNOW that satan is a lair (John 8:44) and that all he is offering you is a counterfeit. The “ideal” scenerio that you have in your mind in regards to that affair isn’t going to play out. You’ve seen it in SO MANY PEOPLE…don’t allow the enemy to convince you that you will be the exception.

#2 – Don’t use David as an excuse! If I hear it again I am going to throw up, “But David committed adultery and was called a man after God’s own heart.” Uh…yeah…but he REPENTED (which means he turned away from his sin instead of diving deeper into it and then screaming that people needed to show him grace!) He also had sexual sin in his family for generations, had a daughter raped and a son rebel against him. You are a FOOL if you think that your children are not going to suffer the consequences all because you were more passionate about an orgasm than Jesus.

#3 – GET HELP!!! If you are struggling with temptation…TELL SOMEBODY that you KNOW loves Jesus and loves you. ”But Perry, if I do it may get bad.” I would say if you DON’T it WILL get bad!!! Get some great men around you, confess the problem and then submit to their leadership.

#4 – Don’t blame others for your screw up – IF you choose not to listen to men who sincerely love you and want to try to protect you, your marriage and your church then don’t scream that they and the church turned their back on you when it was actually you that decided to pull your pants down and put things where they did not belong. You are not the victim once you decide to take this step…and sin has consequences. And that’s not being judgmental…its simply declaring the truth!

BTW…your “friends” aren’t the one who rally around you and affirm your sin…they are the ones that DO love you, do beg God for you to repent, do speak truth and do hurt for you more than you know! AND…the church didn’t turn its back on you when you sinned…you turned your back on her!!!

#5 – Don’t think your sexual sin is going to give you long term satisfaction – If you are a pastor and you have an affair with a lady in your church then you’ve GOT to understand that what attracted her to you (integrity, godly character) is now SHATTERED the minute you have sex with her…and sooner or later the blinders will come off of her eyes and she will see what you really are.

#6 – STOP expecting your wife to be impressed with you – bro, she’s seen you in the nude, there is NOTHING you could do to ever impress her!!! Seriously…she is NOT your servant but rather your opportunity to SERVE. If you want her to treat you like a rock star then you are on dangerous ground because you will hop in the sack with the first lady that does.

#7 – Set guard rails in place – Don’t travel alone…don’t ride in a car with a lady alone…don’t counsel a woman alone…JUST DON’T! We KNOW the areas we are tempted in…and for us to NOT establish some sort of boundaries is simply stupid! AND…if some people think that these kinds of things are extreme…it’s BECAUSE THEY ARE!!!

Can God forgive sexual sin? ABSOLUTELY! He is a God who loves unconditionally! BUT…pastors/church leaders…PLEASE HEAR ME ON THIS ONE…God’s Kingdom is TOO important for ANY one of us to sell out for momentary pleasure. We’ve GOT to fight…we’ve GOT to RUN FROM THIS TEMPTATION (I Corinthians 6:18-20!)

AND…one more thing, Jesus didn’t die on a cross so people that claim to follow Him could run around and have sex with whoever they want and then scream “grace” and “you’re being judgmental” when people point out the sin and plead for repentance!

We’ve GOT to fight through this men…we’ve GOT to ask for help and have integrity…our ministries and marriages AND THE CROSS are TOO IMPORTANT to sell out for improper sex…I’m praying Psalm 69:6 for all of us!