Well babe, today makes it 41 years and counting since we entered into the covenant of marriage at St. Patrick's Church here in Ottawa, Ontario, Canada.
I am thanking God for you and the wonderful privilege we have had to enjoy having two healthy children, Kim and Jason, who have also grown into absolutely amazing adults with families of their own.
Now we get to enjoy seven beautiful grandchildren as well as over 30 years of ministry in our home town and around the globe. Can it get any better than that?
I love you more today than I did yesterday, yet less than I will tomorrow!
I toasted you on August 30, 1969 and do so again today my lady.
Stan will always be remembered as the man God used to make my daughter and her family's dream of having a little girl come true.
He lived his life investing in others and we were blessed, as a family, to be on the receiving end of his generosity.
Stan used the dash between his birth and his death to make an eternal difference in others. Thank you, thank you, thank you, Papa Stan!!!!
Peacefully in hospital, surrounded by family and friends. Dearly loved husband of Laura Ann (Hammond). Caring and affectionate father of Derek (Micheline), Janet and Jennifer.
Stan was overjoyed and keenly interested in his grandchildren: Lauren, Brayden, Scott, Abbie, Dereline, Gracie, Sam, Sophie and Daniel.
A graduate of New York Institute of Photography, this was his passion, both as a career and a hobby. He was the first photographer for the National Research Council and taught for many years with the Ottawa Board of Education.
A lifelong resident of Ottawa, he was the son of Stanley Gardner Metcalfe, Q.C., and Helena Janet McNaughton. He is also predeceased by his brother, Stuart.
Stan was a philanthropist with his time and gave prodigiously as a leader in Scouting; Lt. Comm. of the Ottawa Power Squadron; founding President of the Hammond Organ Society; Past President and Life Member of the Camera Club of Ottawa; founding member of the Leica Historical Society of Canada; founding member of the XM49ers; Clerk of Fourth Avenue Baptist Church for 27 years.
He gave compassionate care to many people in need. He valued all of his friends including his angels and was always the appreciative recipient of their kindness and generosity. We will miss his "joie de vivre" and consistent, wise and disarming demeanor.
A CELEBRATION OF LIFE
Fourth Avenue Baptist Church
109A Fourth Avenue,
Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
Friday, August 13, 2010
SERVICE: 1:30 pm
Memorial donations in Stan's name may be made to Fourth Avenue Baptist Church or to a charity of your choice. Online condolences may be made at www.colefuneralservices.com .
The most collect calls, however, are made on Father's Day.
Mothers get a lot of acknowledgment and encouragement, and so they should. They more than deserve it. But fathers deserve a little recognition, too.There was a time when men were more respected in our culture than they are today – especially fathers. It was even reflected on television, with programs like "Father Knows Best." If someone were to come out with a sitcom about fathers today, they probably would call it "Father Is an Idiot," because dad is usually the brunt of the joke on television. Dad is the one who doesn't know anything about anything. In fact, it is the children who are portrayed as the all-knowing, all-wise ones. But there was a day when fathers were looked up to for their wisdom and their guidance.
Why is this a point worth making?
Because you can take most of the social ills in our culture today and find a direct link to the absence of a father in the home. In the past 30 years, there has been a 550-percent increase in violent crime, a 400-percent increase in illegitimate births, a 200-percent increase in teen pregnancy and a 300-percent increase in teen suicide. Experts have traced all of these things to the breakdown of the family and, specifically, the absence of a father.Of the juveniles in state reform institutions, 70 percent come from fatherless homes. Expert Joseph Wible Jr. put it this way: "Throughout history, men have been torn from their families by war, disease and death. But in this millennium in America, men are choosing to disconnect from family life on a massive scale – and at far higher rates than other industrialized countries." I am not only referring to fathers who were never there, but also fathers who, through divorce, have disengaged. At best they see their children every other weekend or maybe for two weeks in the summer. Then there is the father who says he doesn't see his kids that often because he is working so hard to give his children the life that he never had.
Our children would say that to us today: Choose the right path, Dad. I am coming right behind you. I am watching you, Dad. I am going to walk in your footsteps. I am going to emulate your behavior. And hopefully as fathers, we are walking the right way.
You can find this blog by Greg Laurie at World Net Daily: https://www.wnd.com/index.php?fa=PAGE.view&pageId=168253
I want to dedicate this Father’s Day to the memory of my dad, Marcel Boucher, who was a member of The Life Centre until his death on November 29, 1996.
He was a small French Canadian man with calluses on both hands, who worked fifteen hours-a-day, five days-a-week, to provide a place for me and my siblings to call home.
From my bedroom, I could hear him cough as he stepped into the morning air and left for work at 7 am for his job as an orderly at the Perley Hospital.
He loved his job but especially the security it brought him to provide for his growing family.
He would arrive home at 4:30, have supper, and leave again at 5:30 for his job as a night cleaner at the Carlingwood Sears store.
Dad was not an educated man as we understand formal education, but he was a man of common sense and uncommon values.
He modelled integrity, faithfulness, hard work and sacrificial living. Not only that but rather than send us to church, he brought us with him.
In his youth, someone had offered to pay for him to get a good education but he chose to play instead. This became his greatest regret in life. It would be a decision that meant working two jobs to just to make ends meet. It also meant being away from his family every night of the week. A loss for him and for my brother and two sisters as well.
His mother tongue was French but he learned English so he would have more opportunities to work and provide for his family. It also helped him court my Irish born yet British raised mother.
It’s funny, but I never noticed his accent until I was an adult - children never do. He was just dad.
I never noticed his commitment to us as a family either, until I had my own.
He was, like many fathers, a giant in the eyes of their children, even though he was only 5’ 4” tall.
I did not grow up knowing the Lord the way I do today, but I prayed often. “Dear Lord, please, please, please, let me be taller than my dad”. God answered that prayer and now I am hearing it prayed in the life of one of my grandchildren. How funny is that?
I first noticed a crimp in his fatherly armor when after an operation on his carotid artery, he put his head on my chest and cried like a baby. He was 54 years old at the time and in pain both on the outside and inside.
It was such an awkward moment that I didn’t know how to respond to him. We had never been huggy with each other as a family and especially with dad. That would be the first but not the last time he shed tears.
Years later after leading him to Jesus, we attended an inner healing conference in Ohio and ended up sitting under a tree talking about our home.
Suddenly, he burst into tears, put his head on my shoulder and asked me to forgive him for being such an angry father.
Another very awkward moment for a son with his dad. What to do?
I understand now that he was burning the candle at both ends. His emotional tank was running on empty and and he was physically tired. We became the brunt of his regrets and frustrations.
As I look back as a seasoned dad today...
I regret not saying all the things I was so proud of him for. He really needed to hear that from me.
I regret being unable to comfort him at those important moments in his life when he reached out to me.
In the hours he had to spare, and there were not many, he taught me how to ride a bicycle, and bought me my first, second-hand bike. Sadly, on the first day, the front forks collapsed as I was riding it. Someone sold him a bike with forks that had been soldered rather than welded together. He had been ripped off as he spent the little extra he had to buy me that bike.
Landsdowne Park was a special place for me and my dad. We went to a few football games, stock car races and exhibitions together. He taught me how to drive a standard shift in the parking lot.
I remember jerking the car forward so often, trying to coordinate the clutch with the gas, with the shifter, that I was sure we were both going to suffer whiplash and the driveshaft was going to come through the floor board.
One day after failing my driving test, in anger, I drove his car around town, without his permission, proving to everyone that I could drive and the tester was wrong. Hmm!
That night I waited until he went to sleep, I took his keys and went joy riding with my friends until just before dawn.
I guess like all sons and daughters, we do things behind our parents back that we are not proud of today.
My dad never owned a new car, and it remained an unfulfilled dream of his, but he was truly happy for me when I brought home my first new car.
We even tried fishing - not a good idea. I watched him snag a pike and while trying to remove the hook I distracted him with a question. The fish took the opportunity to bite him and sliced open his hand.
That was our last fishing trip and the moment when I learned to bless the church and its’ elements in French.
I wrote a song once and he drove me to CFRA to see if they would let me sing it on air. A good idea to me but a wacky one to him, yet he was trying to be supportive.
He came to a few of my swim meets, karate tournaments, and watched when a group of us tried to repair the engine on my first VW bug.
He wanted to know what the extra parts were on the ground when we said we were finished. We couldn’t remember where they came from, so we just set them aside. He just smiled that ‘how dumb can you get and still breathe’ smile and didn’t say a word as we drove off so proudly.
The engine lasted one block before it sputtered to a stop. We had to find out where those parts belonged and he came to the rescue by asking his backyard mechanic friend to help. We were on the road again thanks to dad’s intervention.
When my Honda S600 chain-driven sports car broke down, he towed me to the dealer and while on the way misjudged a turn and almost got me broadsided. We laughed later but he was ashen at the time.
He was so proud when I graduated from College with Honours but saddened when they forgot to mention it as I received my diploma. While we spoke with people at the graduation reception, he showed them the honours notice on my diploma. I was an honour student and he wanted everyone to know.
When Joyce walked down the aisle to become my bride he was beaming. He loved her and spoke highly of her all the time.
When Kim, then Jason came along, he was a proud grandpa and would drop into our house on Saturday mornings as he was out for his weekend drive to Ogdensburg, NY.
He loved his grandchildren but when Joyce and I went through our separation, it affected his visits to our home. The breakdown in marriage today affects so many of the extended family members especially grandpa.
He was leery of my decision to become a follower of Jesus. He was sure I was involved in a cult. He went so far as to ask his friend Bishop Windle, what I was involved with. After assurances, he was OK with my new found personal faith in Jesus.
When Joyce and I got back together, he was delighted and relieved. Once again he could be in our lives fully and be the dad and grandpa he always wanted to be.
As he grew older though we saw him less because he lost his eyesight to disease. One day he handed me his driver’s license and said, “Son I can’t drive safely anymore.” That day he lost his most simple of life’s pleasures - his freedom to drive, camp, fish and just enjoy the open road.
He asked who he could give his truck to and it ended up at a kids camp and was in use for many years after. That made him happy.
Dad taught me, by example, all I needed to know about an honest day’s work, doing whatever you needed to do, legally, to provide for your family. That was your responsibility in having children in the first place - to take care of them and their needs. They came first.
Every son or daughter has a mix of memories about dad. They are, after all, imperfect men. They are real dads not ideal ones.
I wish I would have thanked him more for the sacrifices he made on my behalf. The extra jobs, the extra hours, the extra money to provide what I needed growing up.
I wish I would have told him more often how proud I was that he was my dad.
I wish I would have told him how much I loved him and how special he was to me. Towards the end of his life, as I would say “I love you dad” he would laugh awkwardly and say “me too”.
I wish I would have taken the time to just hang out with him more and ask him to tell me more stories of his early life.
As a young man, I regret having travelled across Canada, Europe and North Africa for over a year without contacting him except at the end when I needed money to fly home from London.
I regret being so thoughtless and selfish and not considering the stress I was putting him under by not contacting him regularly.
Dads are not just providers but protectors of their children. How could he protect me when he didn’t even know where I was?
I regret being drunk the night his mother died and as I stood beside her bed at St Vincent’s Hospital I was unable to comfort him.
I regret that moment because he worked with veterans whose bodies were ravaged by alcoholism, and he asked us to be careful with alcohol.
I regret not listening to his wisdom and advice on so many issues.
I think back over all the years I had with my dad and all I can say is ‘thank you Lord’ that Marcel Boucher was MY dad.
He loved me the best he could with what he knew.
He was serious about his call and responsibility of being my dad.
I am forever grateful for Monday, Nov. 25, 1996 when, over coffee, he asked me an important question that was on his mind, but one I was equipped to answer. He said, “Son, explain to me again what happens when you die.”
Three days later, on Thursday the 29th of November 1996, he collapsed on the steps of his rented home and went to be with the Lord.
My dad closed his eyes on this side of heaven but opened them in the Presence of Jesus. I know he heard the words ‘Well done good and faithful servant.”
I want to echo that same declaration today and say, “Dad, well done, you were a good and faithful father. Thank you for making our house a home!”
My dad’s name was Marcel Boucher and I am dedicating this Father’s Day to all the imperfect dads who live honourably, sacrificially and faithfully for their families.
I had the honour of speaking to the congregation of Lifecentre on Father's Day. It is two years since the transition of the leadership to my natural and spiritual son, Jason.
To be passionate as a Christian father means you possess a vision for your family that centers all you do out of your own life-giving relationship with Jesus Christ.
Luke 15:11-32 The Story of the Waiting Father
Happy Father's Day
For many of you Father’s Day is not easy. Some of you had bad relationships with your fathers. A few of you may not have known your Dad - even if you lived with him. In a room with 100 men, only a few, when teenagers, spent more quality time with their fathers than with your mothers. We are a generation of under-fathered children.
For some of you this is a good day, with great memories.
For those who had abusive or violent fathers, God-as-father is a problematic concept.
Being a Dad isn't easy these days. Being a Mom isn't easy either. Being a kid isn't easy - or a teenager, or married, or single, or being step-parent, middle-aged, or a senior...
Life is difficult and life is messy!
The story of the Prodigal Son, should be called the Parable of the Waiting Father. The Parable of these Two Sons is the 'greatest short story ever told' (and re-told).
Every person has to come to terms with four relationships: This story is about all four.
A son comes to his father, and says, in effect, 'I wish you were dead, and this was the day after your funeral. Give me the one-third of your property that's coming to me! Sell a piece of the promised land that you've inherited from our forefathers. I want it. I can't find what I am looking for here. Give me what is mine.
Now the father sold the land, even though the situation was less than ideal and long before the due date for the son to receive his inheritance.
I don't know what you think about the father's decision: was it wise? Who said parenting was simple?. This father decided his son could learn some useful lessons out of this so he sold off part of his property, and gave him the money.
I can imagine the neighbour to whom he sold the land leaning on the stone fence dividing their two properties: 'I heard about your younger son. Partying every night. Everyone's talking about him. You must be feeling pretty ashamed of him now. And the old man would walk away sadly and wonder where he'd gone wrong...
The boy learned some hard lessons in the far country. Jewish law prohibited contact with pigs, let alone being a keeper of pigs. The husks he felt like eating were the fruit of the carob tree, used for animal fodder - an awful taste, but sometimes eaten by the very poor (something like the stories you hear of destitute people in our country eating from cans of pet food). But in the pig pen the young man 'came to himself' (it's the Greek word emerging from a coma).
He rehearsed a speech offering to become a 'hired servant'. But the father was out there looking for him before he had come home.
In an ancient middle eastern community the houses are in the centre, the market place and other buildings around them, then a wall, then the open fields. Every day the father would go out into the fields to look for his boy, maybe to escort him past the jeering mob to the safety of his home. The day he saw him, he ran towards him. (Old men in that culture did not run: it was beneath their dignity.)
The boy had his speech ready, but the father wasn't listening. Before the boy could say anything the father threw his arms around him, and kissed him. The father wasn't so much interested in why he came back but that he came back.
One of the key teachings of Jesus was that acceptance precedes repentance. Acceptance in this case came before confession. As the old saying has it: 'Those who are seeking God have already been found by him.' One of the most beautiful aspects of the Christian gospel is that God loves you before you change, as you change, or whether you change or not.
I'm glad the boy met the father before he met his older brother.
Dad called for the ring, the robe - perhaps the one the boy once wore - the fatted calf and the shoes.
The ring would bear the seal of the family. Ancient credit card. The robe would cover where he had been. Shoes are for sons (servants or slaves often did not wear shoes).
THE CLUES TO THE STORY
When Jesus taught His disciples to pray, He taught them the Our Father. He sought to reinforce the character of His Father upon their hearts first, the head would follow later.
There are two groups of people in the world: those who are sinners and who know it, and those who are sinners and don't know it, or don't want to know it.
So Jesus told a story about certain man who had two sons.
Actually, they were both lost: the main difference was that ...the younger one externalized his alienation and figured geography would fix his identity crisis...the elder one internalized his alienation yet stayed at home and would have been a pretty miserable character to live with. Whenever his father gave him a hug he'd stiffen up and be unresponsive. We learn about the kid brother's sins only from the elder brother: he describes him as 'your son', not 'my brother'.
These two brothers are like us: sometimes we blame others, like the elder brother, but then sometimes we take responsibility for our actions, as the younger brother did.
These are the two basic postures in family life: blaming and repenting.
When Dads blame they might say 'Oh, the kids these days...' Blaming is the opposite of repenting. When you blame, you offload responsibility to others, or the situation, or the kids' friends, or their teachers, or school, or TV, or the church...
Dad, you are invited, by God, to accept responsibility for the outcome of your fathering.
When you take responsibility for failing as a Dad there are some things you've got to remember:
 You can't change the past, but you can ask for forgiveness for the past, and move on;
 you don't have to carry destructive guilt about the past: that will kill you; but you'd better know the difference between good guilt and bad guilt;
 you can do what you can to heal relationships in the present.
WHAT DO MY CHILDREN SAY ABOUT ME?
Kim, my daughter, the Children’s Pastor at Lifecentre said, “Three things I am thankful for:
1. You put Him first. Your obedience to the Lord enabled me to find Him as my personal Lord and Saviour - without that I would be nothing! The legacy of our family is secure because you said "Yes" to Him and His call on your life.
2. Your time. You always made time for me. Sitting with me late one night in my bedroom in Alymer as I cried over a strained friendship you told me the story that ended with the words "This Too Shall Pass." Those four words have enabled me to get through a miriade of life's hardships to this day.
3. Do as I do. Watching you authentically live out your calling and passion sparked me to settle for nothing less then everything God has for me. So many parents tell their children to live one way but they live a completely different way - not you! I have so appreciated that as I am now parenting!"
Areas of Disappointment
1. At times I felt the church and its congregants came first. The amount of time we spent at Lifecentre as you pioneered was great, it really was our whole life 7 days a week.
2. The toll that the church took on our family at times with the judgements, criticizm and hypocrisy - watching the hurt that the body of Christ caused you, mom and our family left some deep scars in my heart. Thankfully God is faithful!
You really are the best dad ever and I am so proud to be your daughter!
Jason, my son, the Senior Pastor at Lifecentre said, “ Three things I am thankful for:
1) Your modeling love never fails as a parent.
2) The consistency with which you live your life. Modest, dreaming, and diligent.
3) You teach me it is ok to love your kids and love what you do. It's not one or the other.
Pastor's Kid Disappointment
The reality of living life "seeing behind the ministry curtain" creates moments of disappointment when people say, then do the opposite. This creates a pretty high meter for detecting hype vs. reality. As a result I crave the tension between faith and reality. Sometimes this is a good thing, sometimes I can miss the simple joy of letting a moment be what it is on its own.
WHY ARE DADS IMPORTANT?
For one thing they have a unique role in a child’s life. You can be replaced in the job you do but no one can replace you as their father.
Tomorrow I will share about my dad.
There are times in your life when you are blessed beyond blessed. That has happened to me so many times but recently two very amazing blessings have come my way that I wanted to comment on at this time of the year.
1. When I transitioned the church to my son Jason, the congregation blessed me with a 2007 Mustang Convertible California Edition. Even though I have given cars to others I never expected it to happen to me because I was not in need of a car.
God doesn't always bless on the basis of need but just to show His love in a tangible way.
2. This week I celebrated my 62nd birthday and Joyce 'blessed' me with a 2009 Triumph Sprint ST 1050 motorcycle. Not because I need a motorcycle but because she wanted to bless my life and fit the gift to who I am. I have been riding now for over 35 years.
A few lessons have come out of this for me. First, to simply receive the gracious love of others. Second, to say 'thank you' without guilt or feelings of 'I'm not worthy'. Third, to be ready to appreciate their kindness and remember that in this life we are simply stewards of all He has put into our hands.
God has always whispered in my ear, "Hold things lightly but hold your loved ones tightly."
Thanks Joyce, you're the best!
We have been together for 40 years now. I first met her after returning to Canada after travelling around the world in 1966-1967 during a Centennial Project.
I called to ask if she'd like to see the photos of my trip. She said yes and we have been together ever since. It is amazing to reflect on the fact that I met and fell in love with her when she was just a babe of 20.
Here are the top ten things I love about her six times over.
1. When we first met and were dating.
1. Her friendliness.
2. The sparkle in her eye.
3. Her laugh and voice.
4. A great ping pong player.
5. Lots of fun.
6. A good dancer.
7. Red dress wearer.
8. A risk taker.
9. A family girl.
10. Said 'yes' to marrying me.
2. When we first were married.
1. My best friend.
2. Someone to dream with.
3. An excellent cook. Mmm good.
4. Great homemaker.
5. Shared everything.
6. Believed the best.
7. Invested in my life.
8. Supported my dreams.
9. Put me through school.
10. Worked to support us.
3. When the children came along.
1. An amazing mom.
2. A tireless trooper.
3. A constant protector.
4. A patient educator.
5. Dressed the kids to kill.
6. A constant supporter.
7. A great cheer leader.
8. A good listener.
9. Wiped away their tears.
10. Invested everything in them.
4. When we separated.
1. Willing to use the same lawyer.
2. Reasonable separation agreement.
3. Said yes to counselling.
4. Shared the children.
5. Open to talk.
6. Listened to family.
7. Let down her guard.
8. Said yes to reconciliation.
9. Helped us rebuild.
10. Renewed our vows.
5. When Jesus came into our lives.
1. Opened to Him.
2. Willing to listen.
3. Took the faith plunge.
4. Gave Him her whole life.
5. Loved the Word.
6. Loved the Holy Spirit.
7. Lived faithfully.
8. Shared carefully.
9. Invested her time in others.
10. Loves Jesus completely.
6. When our family multiplied.
1. A wonderful mother-in-law.
2. A friend.
3. A confidant.
4. A beautiful grandma.
5. A doting grandma.
6. A party planner.
7. A lover of balloons.
8. A 'love' investor.
9. A careful coach.
10. A best friend.
These are just some of the reasons I love and celebrate Joyce's 6oth birthday today. In my eyes, it is just a number because she is young of spirit, soul and body.
Happy Birthday Babe!
xxx ooo xxx ooo
The following tribute was given at Peggy Pauline Bonnar's funeral in Ottawa on August 5, 2008.
She was my mother-in-law for the last 40 years and was the best mother-in-law I could ever ask for. The older she became the more gracious and giving was her lifestyle. She simply blessed everyone that crossed her path. Interesting isn't it, some people grow old and become bitter, Peg grew old and became better.
Whenever Peg's grand and great-grandchildren ended their conversation with her and said, "I love you" she responded with, "I love you more."
I wrote this tribute to honour her memory.
You are the mother-in-law I received,
the day I wed your Joyce,
and so I want to thank you Peg,
I made an excellent choice.
You have given me a precious girl,
with whom to share my life,
a woman I am proud to say,
has become a Proverbs 31 wife.
You’ll always be her mother,
you always were her friend,
Right from the start of her little life,
right to the very end.
We shared a home together,
through laughter and through tears,
but most of all we shared your life,
for seven amazing years.
We rise to bless the memory of,
Peggy Pauline Bonnar,
A name we’ll cherish,
from this day forward,
with legacy and honour.
Peg's living legacy will be seen in the lives of her children, grandchildren and great grandchildren.
Grandmother to Tim (Sandra), Kelly (Jermaine), David (Anne), Chris (Laurie), Kim (Stéphane), Jason (Lori), Todd (Erin), Darlene (Scott), Jeff, Chris, Heather (Ryan), Trevor (Caroline), Evan, Christine, Melissa, Amanda.
Great-grandmother to Olivia, Johnny, Erica, Nathan, Tonya, Emily, Matthew, Tristan, Ryan, Grace, Tref, Parker, Emma, Ally, Kamryn, Lauryn, Jake, Logan, Matthew, Caitlin, Chloe, Logan, Amber and Jayda.