All through scripture, God put men and women around those He had called to serve Him in their generation. These were people to listen, help, counsel and be a friend. Paul had Timothy. Elijah had Elisha. And Moses had Aaron and Hur. People who would take it upon themselves to honour and hold up the man of God's hands during those difficult and challenging times in every leader's life.
Here is a wonderful article from Coach John Chasteen. You can reach his blog at:http://www.heycoachjohn.com/hey_coach_john/2008/01/is-your-pastor.html
Stress is the Number One Reason Pastors Fail - Here’s How You Can Help Them.
It was a gray, cloudy April morning in Canada, the children had gone to school, his wife to work. After a slow start to his morning, pastor Rowland Croucher decided to do something he’d never done before. He turned the phone down, put a note on the front door, and went back to bed. He was burned out – and within two months, he resigned his pastorate.
You say, “This could never happen to my pastor - could it?” Well, whether we like it or not, stress is a real problem for most North American pastors. As a matter of fact, not only do the clergy deal with this menacing dilemma – it’s a nationwide problem for most professionals. Doctors now believe that stress contributes greatly to many diseases. As little as one hundred years ago, most deaths in our country were due to infectious diseases, however, with the advance of science and technology, that is no longer the case – it is estimated that almost half of all doctor visits are stress related. Anxiety reduction may now very well be the largest single business in the Western world!
With that said, you may be thinking – “if this is the case, how can I be of help to my pastor?” Usually, a good place to start is by understanding what makes ministry stressful for most pastors. Here are a few high stress areas that pastors deal with on a regular basis:
1. Loneliness
It is a known fact that a pastor is less likely to have a close friend than any other person in the community. According to Peter Drucker, “great leaders have to walk alone from time to time; therefore the leader must somehow create a capacity for loneliness. ” This doesn’t mean your pastor is necessarily friendless, it just means he can’t unload his burdens and concerns on his parishioners. You can support your pastors by praying for them to find and form intimate relationships with other pastors, peers and spiritual coaches – they are absolutely invaluable in the life of your pastor.
2. The Disparity Between Expectations and Hard Reality.
Someone once said, “False expectations, like cataracts, must be removed because there is no way around them.” Wrong expectations can be clergy killers. The reason is that they have a tendency to cause much undue pain and stress. Wrong expectations could also include unrealistic and unfulfilled expectations. As a layperson, you can be supportive and encourage your pastor to take life and ministry as it comes – to deal with hard realities in stride.
3. Finding Balance Between Ministry and Personal Time
H.B. London, director of Focus on the Family’s Pastoral Ministry states that, “with most ministers, balance is the principle issue – everyone wants it but few seem to be able to make it work for them.” Sadly enough, many pastors do not have a good handle on their private and personal life. Encourage your pastor to guard and develop his or her own personal time - then as a layperson, respect and honor your pastor’s private and personal life.
4. Less Than Ideal Ministry Conditions.
Every minister at one time or another is tempted to look at their so-called “less than desired” ministry conditions and question their calling and effectiveness. The temptation is to look around and think that there are “greener pastures” elsewhere. Better ministry conditions are not the only answer to fulfillment – contentment is the key. As laity, we can encourage our pastors by offering them the best living and ministry conditions that our church budgets and congregation can allow. Treat your pastor as God’s representative - because he is!
5. Negative Effects of Ministry on Spouse and Family
It has been said that every couple going into ministry should have two identical signs artfully lettered with the message, “Warning; Ministry May Be Hazardous to Your Marriage.” One sign should be hung in the pastor’s study about eye level with his desk and the other hung in their bedroom. Without a doubt, happily married pastors tend to be more effective in their ministry. Have you made it easy for your pastor and his family to enjoy life without living in a fish bowl?
Conclusion:
Is a life without stress really possible for clergy in the 21st century? Probably not! The only realistic answer is to encourage your pastor to learn how to deal with stress – then arm him with effective tools to deal with its dangerous effects.
By the way, the story in the opening paragraph happened over twenty years ago. Today, Rowland Croucher is helping ministers address and deal with the very issue that temporarily displaced him from ministry. His expertise is in the area of Stress and Burnout in Ministry.
Coach John
Works cited:
Rowland Croucher, Stress and Burnout in Ministry, http:www.churchlink/forum/r_croucher/stress_burnout.htm.
Jordan Ruben, The Maker’s Diet, Lake Mary, FL, Siloam, 2004)
Peter F. Drucker, The Leader of the Future, (San Francisco CA, Jossey-Bass Publishers, 1996) p. 9
H.B. London, Pastors at Greater Risk, (Ventura, CA, Regal Books, 2003)
H.B. London & Neil B. Wiseman, Pastors at Risk, (Wheaton, IL, Victor Books, 1993), p 70
