MINISTERS MATTER

WHAT A CHURCH DOESN'T WANT TO HEAR

Here is the letter read to Revolution Church on the day their pastor, Gary Lamb, stepped down due to moral failure. This is what a church doesn't want to hear.

If you, as a pastor, are struggling with moral issues, please get help immediately from trusted leaders in your life. 

Pastor Barry

Dear Revolution Church,

5 years ago DeAnna and I moved to Canton Ga. with a vision to start a church that was doing whatever it took to reach those far from God. Over the last 5 years God has exceeded our expectations and more people than I can count have entered into a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.  Pastoring Revolution has been one of the great highlights of my life. I think Revolution Church is the greatest church in America and I count it an honor to have been called to start her.

It is with those thoughts on my mind that I’m now writing the toughest letter I’ve ever had to write.  Effective immediately, I will be stepping down as the pastor of Revolution.  6 weeks ago, I entered into an emotional and physical affair with my personal assistant, Elena.  I have no excuses, no justification, and no one to blame but myself.  I did exactly what I have preached against from the Revolution stage by letting my guard down and putting myself into a position to fall into sin.  I’m so sorry.

It breaks my heart to know all the people I have let down from my wife DeAnna to all of you who have invested your blood, sweat, and tears into making Revolution the church it is today.  I know what I did was wrong, I have asked God for forgiveness, but there is still consequences for our sin and I’m no longer qualified to lead Revolution.

I know this comes as a shock to many of you and your emotions will vary from anger to hurt, know that it was never my desire to hurt any of you.  This is the end of my time as your pastor, but it is not the end of Revolution.  Revolution was not about me, it was about Jesus Christ.  God has awesome plans in store for Revolution and I believe with everything that is in me, He is going to to take Revolution to places we never imagined.

God has blessed this church with an incredible staff and an incredible Board of Overseers who will be led by God to make sure Revolution remains true to the vision God gave us when we started.  I plead with you to stand by them, rally around them, support them, and do whatever it takes to lift each other up during this time.

I would also ask that you stay in prayer for me and my family.  I am committed to doing what it takes to get my walk with God back to the place where I know it should be.  I am focused on Him during this time and I’m looking forward to seeing Him work in my life in the days to come.  Also pray for DeAnna and my children.  They are the true victims in this and they will need your love and grace like never before.  I am committed to getting myself healthy where I can be the husband and father my family needs.  I appreciate your prayers during this time.

Let me close out by again saying how much I love all of you.  I am so sorry I let you down. I am so sorry that I have given the cause of Christ yet another black eye. I’m so sorry that I have left all of you in this position. I’m sorry, but know I believe in you and I will be your biggest cheerleader as you reach this community for Jesus Christ.

Be Revolutionary,

Gary

I’m not really sure what words to type or say to what so many of you have just read.  I know I have let so many people down and many people have been hurt and will be hurt through my actions.  There are no words that can make it better.  There is nothing that justifies the actions I chose.  I took my eyes off God and in the process didn’t care how my sin affected anyone else. I’m truly sorry.

Let me say that I take 100% responsibility for my actions. I also stand 100% by the decision of our Board of Overseers to ask me to step down as pastor. I believe in grace and I believe Revolution is a church like few others when it comes to grace.  However that grace doesn’t eliminate the fact that there are consequences for sin. I have felt God’s grace like never before in the last 48 hours, but I also have to face the consequences of my sin. I’m glad they loved me enough to act swiftly on my behalf and Revolution’s behalf.

So many people have asked what is next for me and the truth is I have no idea.  My first commitment is to my relationship with Jesus Christ. I am so far away from the man I was when I first felt the call to start Revolution.  I’ve become all about me and my ego.  I have to focus on getting my walk with God where it should be before I can do anything else.  Beyond that, everything else is in God’s hands. I have tried to control every aspect of my life for 12 years and for the first time I realize the only thing I can control is how I respond and handle myself. I plan on seeking the face of God with everything that is in me.

Revolution Church, I love you. I am so sorry that I let you down as your pastor. I honestly believe God is going to show himself to you in ways you’ve never experienced. Stay focused on Him and the vision He gave Revolution when she started. Support the staff and rally around them as they lead Revolution to reach Canton.  To my pastor friends, I’m sorry for letting you down. I’m sorry that I’ve given people in your communities more ammunition to use against the church.  I plan on being your biggest cheerleaders and praying for you on a daily basis as you seek to turn your communities upside down for the cause of Christ.

Those of you who read this blog owe me nothing but I would be honored if you would pray for my family during this time.  Obviously I have left their lives in shambles by my actions. Pray that God shows His grace and mercy to DeAnna and my children like never before. I would also greatly appreciate your prayers as I pick up the pieces and begin the long road to redemption.

I know so many of you will want to contact me over the next several days, but I plan on unplugging from the web for a period of time. The only way to contact me is through the contact form at the top of this blog. Please know that I won’t be responding much, but I will get around to reading your emails as I have time.

Again, let me tell say I’m so sorry to all of those who have been hurt by my actions.

A FALLEN PASTOR SPEAKS - Gary Lamb

"Yes, I’m Alive…" explains Gary Lamb, former pastor of Revolution Church.

Let me start off by saying THANK YOU for all the emails and prayers.  I’ve been blown away by the amount of grace and encouragement that has been sent our way.  Even some of my biggest critics have emailed to let me know they are praying. I truly appreciate it.

I’ve received over 3,000 emails and I haven’t responded to any of them due to the fact that I need to process some things and take some time to get my head clear.  As many e-mails as I have gotten, there seems to be basically the same questions asked over and over. So many of you have been such a vital part of my life over the last few years whether it was through attending Revolution or reading my blog, I feel like the least I can do is answer some of the generic questions.  At this time I’m going to pass on answering questions about my family as we are still sorting through all of that, but I’ll do my best to answer some of the other questions you’ve asked.

How are you doing?

That depends on when you ask. :)  My emotions literally change by the hour.  I would say overall, I’m good.  As crazy as it sounds, I am so glad to not be carrying around the guilt of hiding what I was doing.  While my situation right now it is not what I wanted or thought would happen a few months ago, it is what it is.  I’m focused on my relationship with Christ and I’m focused on the next steps in this adventure called life.

The bottom line is life continues and I can wallow around doing nothing or I can get busy letting God point me in the right direction for the next steps in my life.

What is next?

Honestly, I have no idea.  I thought I would die pastoring Revolution Church so I never once thought about what I would do outside of ministry.  I have a few leads on jobs and even have a couple of job offers, but I’m praying through those right now.  Everyone always told me I would be a great in sales so we’ll see if that is true or not in the coming months.

Just because you have an affair and lose your job doesn’t mean the bills stop coming so finding the right fit in the job market is a pretty big priority right now.  Your prayers for wisdom in this area are appreciated.

Will I be returning as the pastor of Revolution?

No.  That chapter of my life is over.  Let me say again that I agree 100% with the decision by our board to ask for my resignation.  I was in blatant sin that at this time disqualifies me from pastoring.  I know this is hard to accept by so many people who attend Revolution because Revolution is a place of grace, forgiveness, and for less than perfect people.  It still is all of those things but as I said in my resignation letter there are consequences for sin.

What is the future of Revolution?

I have no idea.  As I said above that chapter in my life is over.  My prayer is that it will stay a place that is doing whatever it takes to reach those far from God.  That is in the DNA of Revolution and Canton needs a place that is doing whatever it takes to reach those far from God.

I do know this:  Revolution is God’s church. Contrary to popular belief it was not the Gary Lamb show.  God has a man and a plan to lead Revolution to greater things and greater impact. I look forward to seeing it happen.  God used me to start Revolution and DeAnna and my children will still be attending there, so to say I have a vested interest in seeing her do great things would be an understatement.

Will I be starting another church?

Hands down this has been the #1 question asked.  There is no easy answer to this question.  I have no idea what the future holds and I have no idea how God will lead in the coming days, months, and years.  All I can tell you is that today, June 19th, 2009 that starting a church is the farthest thing from my mind.

I believe with everything that is in me that God is not through with me in a full-time ministry role but I do believe He has me on the sidelines right now to get some things right in my life.  I’ve been asked by a few people to do some church planting coaching and consultating on being portable, but even those things are not something I’m ready to tackle today.

Let me close out this post by again saying THANK YOU.  I would love for you to continue to pray for me as I seek God as to what the future holds.  I know some of you will disagree with the fact that I’m posting online and I understand that, but I’ve lived my life online for 5 years and have many online relationships as a result.  Being online from time to time allows me to communicate with those people in my life and it allows me to feel some sort of normalcy.

BTW, I will be posting another post this week that you don’t want to miss. I have received over 30 emails from pastors (all anonymous) confessing to be involved currently in sexual affairs.  As I read these emails it was like someone punched me in the gut. NO ONE knows what you’re going through like I do and I want to give you guys the reality of what your involved in but I want to take some time to allow God to get my thoughts straight before I post.

MATT CARTER ON MISSION

How does a church get so missional and global?  The answer is by doing it - it isn’t found in a class - it’s found in the field.  Matt ties this to his small group ministry and it’s really good. 

THE SHOW - for May 19, 2009 - Guest Matt Carter from Todd Rhoades on Vimeo.

THE DNA OF GLOCALNET ( Global and local combined)

The ministry of Bob Roberts Jr., of Keller, Texas is one of global connecting together missionally.

The Birth of a Dream…Glocalnet  http://www.glocal.net/

Glocalnet was born out of a dream — a dream that followers of Jesus Christ and their churches would be so radically changed from the inside out that those disciples, their families, their churches, their neighborhoods and their work places would never be the same.

As a result of a transformational experience, these disciples and their churches would form partnerships that would transform their communities and touch the world.

Groups of regionally-located churches or churches within the same city (clusters of churches) would link arms to provide cities and nations good news in all arenas — fresh water, nutritional food, 21st century healthcare, competitive education and spiritual truth.

If this worldwide, strategic, interdenominational alliance of churches went full-force after its calling from Christ to be salt and light to serve the least of these glocally (locally and globally), the world would literally be transformed. Every pocket of the globe would be changed.

The Dream is Becoming Reality

Glocalnet is a network of churches worldwide, clustered together regionally or in cities. These clusters pool their resources to produce T-Life disciples, multiply churches, transform local communities and impact the world.

HOW WILL THE EVANGELICAL CHURCH SURVIVE - By Bob Roberts Jr.

Bob leads Northwood Church in Keller, Texas and has an interesting church planting group called  glocal.net (global and local combined).

1.  Connect with the rest of the world:

Our “methods” aren’t working.

Our “pride” demands that we connect so that we can be humble learners.

The church really is global now.  Really, it is . . . no joke . . .  we are not alone in the U.S.  Really!

2.  Love people more than the church:

Yes, the church is the people.  The problem is we focus more on the institution than the constituents. 
The church is a reflection of the disciples being made - make disciples and serve people.

3.  Rediscover God:

No revival came out of a church growth movement - but revival has produced church growth.

No revival came out of church planting - but church planting came out of revival.

Get on your face before God and pray - ask him to reveal himself to you.

Spiritual disciplines of prayer, fasting, meditation, Scripture reading aren’t niceties but necessities.

4.  Let new believers and young people shape the form of the church more than yesteryear - or yester-century.

THANK YOU DAD!

I want to dedicate this Father’s Day to the memory of my dad, Marcel Boucher, who was a member of The Life Centre until his death on November 29, 1996.

He was a small French Canadian man with calluses on both hands, who worked fifteen hours-a-day, five days-a-week, to provide a place for me and my siblings to call home.

From my bedroom, I could hear him cough as he stepped into the morning air and left for work at 7 am for his job as an orderly at the Perley Hospital.

He loved his job but especially the security it brought him to provide for his growing family.

He would arrive home at 4:30, have supper, and leave again at 5:30 for his job as a night cleaner at the Carlingwood Sears store.

Dad was not an educated man as we understand formal education, but he was a man of common sense and uncommon values.

He modelled integrity, faithfulness, hard work and sacrificial living. Not only that but rather than send us to church, he brought us with him.

In his youth, someone had offered to pay for him to get a good education but he chose to play instead. This became his greatest regret in life. It would be a decision that meant working two jobs to just to make ends meet. It also meant being away from his family every night of the week. A loss for him and for my brother and two sisters as well.

His mother tongue was French but he learned English so he would have more opportunities to work and provide for his family. It also helped him court my Irish born yet British raised mother.

It’s funny, but I never noticed his accent until I was an adult - children never do. He was just dad.

I never noticed his commitment to us as a family either, until I had my own.

He was, like many fathers, a giant in the eyes of their children, even though he was only 5’ 4” tall.
I did not grow up knowing the Lord the way I do today, but I prayed often. “Dear Lord, please, please, please, let me be taller than my dad”. God answered that prayer and now I am hearing it prayed in the life of one of my grandchildren. How funny is that?

I first noticed a crimp in his fatherly armor when after an operation on his carotid artery, he put his head on my chest and cried like a baby. He was 54 years old at the time and in pain both on the outside and inside.

It was such an awkward moment that I didn’t know how to respond to him. We had never been huggy with each other as a family and especially with dad. That would be the first but not the last time he shed tears.

Years later after leading him to Jesus, we attended an inner healing conference in Ohio and ended up sitting under a tree talking about our home.

Suddenly, he burst into tears, put his head on my shoulder and asked me to forgive him for being such an angry father.

Another very awkward moment for a son with his dad. What to do?

I understand now that he was burning the candle at both ends. His emotional tank was running on empty and and he was physically tired. We became the brunt of his regrets and frustrations.

As I look back as a seasoned dad today...

I regret not saying all the things I was so proud of him for. He really needed to hear that from me.

I regret being unable to comfort him at those important moments in his life when he reached out to me.

In the hours he had to spare, and there were not many, he taught me how to ride a bicycle, and bought me my first, second-hand bike.  Sadly, on the first day, the front forks collapsed as I was riding it. Someone sold him a bike with forks that had been soldered rather than welded together. He had been ripped off as he spent the little extra he had to buy me that bike.

Landsdowne Park was a special place for me and my dad. We went to a few football games, stock car races and exhibitions together. He taught me how to drive a standard shift in the parking lot.
I remember jerking the car forward so often, trying to coordinate the clutch with the gas, with the shifter, that I was sure we were both going to suffer whiplash and the driveshaft was going to come through the floor board.

One day after failing my driving test, in anger, I drove his car around town, without his permission, proving to everyone that I could drive and the tester was wrong. Hmm!

That night I waited until he went to sleep, I took his keys and went joy riding with my friends until just before dawn.

I guess like all sons and daughters, we do things behind our parents back that we are not proud of today.

My dad never owned a new car, and it remained an unfulfilled dream of his, but he was truly happy for me when I brought home my first new car.

We even tried fishing - not a good idea. I watched him snag a pike and while trying to remove the hook I distracted him with a question. The fish took the opportunity to bite him and sliced open his hand.
That was our last fishing trip and the moment when I learned to bless the church and its’ elements in French.

I wrote a song once and he drove me to CFRA to see if they would let me sing it on air. A good idea to me but a wacky one to him, yet he was trying to be supportive.

He came to a few of my swim meets, karate tournaments, and watched when a group of us tried to repair the engine on my first VW bug.

He wanted to know what the extra parts were on the ground when we said we were finished. We couldn’t remember where they came from, so we just set them aside. He just smiled that ‘how dumb can you get and still breathe’ smile and didn’t say a word as we drove off so proudly.
The engine lasted one block before it sputtered to a stop. We had to find out where those parts belonged and he came to the rescue by asking his backyard mechanic friend to help. We were on the road again thanks to dad’s intervention.

When my Honda S600 chain-driven sports car broke down, he towed me to the dealer and while on the way misjudged a turn and almost got me broadsided. We laughed later but he was ashen at the time.

He was so proud when I graduated from College with Honours but saddened when they forgot to mention it as I received my diploma. While we spoke with people at the graduation reception, he showed them the honours notice on my diploma. I was an honour student and he wanted everyone to know.

When Joyce walked down the aisle to become my bride he was beaming. He loved her and spoke highly of her all the time.

When Kim, then Jason came along, he was a proud grandpa and would drop into our house on Saturday mornings as he was out for his weekend drive to Ogdensburg, NY.

He loved his grandchildren but when Joyce and I went through our separation, it affected his visits to our home. The breakdown in marriage today affects so many of the extended family members especially grandpa.

He was leery of my decision to become a follower of Jesus. He was sure I was involved in a cult. He went so far as to ask his friend Bishop Windle, what I was involved with. After assurances, he was OK with my new found personal faith in Jesus.

When Joyce and I got back together, he was delighted and relieved. Once again he could be in our lives fully and be the dad and grandpa he always wanted to be.

As he grew older though we saw him less because he lost his eyesight to disease. One day he handed me his driver’s license and said, “Son I can’t drive safely anymore.”  That day he lost his most simple of life’s pleasures - his freedom to drive, camp, fish and just enjoy the open road.
He asked who he could give his truck to and it ended up at a kids camp and was in use for many years after. That made him happy.

Dad taught me, by example, all I needed to know about an honest day’s work, doing whatever you needed to do, legally, to provide for your family. That was your responsibility in having children in the first place - to take care of them and their needs. They came first.

Every son or daughter has a mix of memories about dad. They are, after all, imperfect men. They are real dads not ideal ones.

I wish I would have thanked him more for the sacrifices he made on my behalf. The extra jobs, the extra hours, the extra money to provide what I needed growing up.

I wish I would have told him more often how proud I was that he was my dad.

I wish I would have told him how much I loved him and how special he was to me. Towards the end of his life, as I would say “I love you dad” he would laugh awkwardly and say “me too”.

I wish I would have taken the time to just hang out with him more and ask him to tell me more stories of his early life.

As a young man, I regret having travelled across Canada, Europe and North Africa for over a year without contacting him except at the end when I needed money to fly home from London.

I regret being so thoughtless and selfish and not considering the stress I was putting him under by not contacting him regularly.

Dads are not just providers but protectors of their children. How could he protect me when he didn’t even know where I was?

I regret being drunk the night his mother died and as I stood beside her bed at St Vincent’s Hospital I was unable to comfort him.

I regret that moment because he worked with veterans whose bodies were ravaged by alcoholism, and he asked us to be careful with alcohol.

I regret not listening to his wisdom and advice on so many issues.

I think back over all the years I had with my dad and all I can say is ‘thank you Lord’ that Marcel Boucher was MY dad.

He loved me the best he could with what he knew.

He was serious about his call and responsibility of being my dad.

I am forever grateful for Monday, Nov. 25, 1996 when, over coffee, he asked me an important question that was on his mind, but one I was equipped to answer. He said, “Son, explain to me again what happens when you die.”

Three days later, on Thursday the 29th of November 1996, he collapsed on the steps of his rented home and went to be with the Lord.

My dad closed his eyes on this side of heaven but opened them in the Presence of Jesus. I know he heard the words ‘Well done good and faithful servant.”

I want to echo that same declaration today and say, “Dad, well done, you were a good and faithful father. Thank you for making our house a home!”

My dad’s name was Marcel Boucher and I am dedicating this Father’s Day to all the imperfect dads who live honourably, sacrificially and faithfully for their families.

PASSIONATE FATHERING

I had the honour of speaking to the congregation of Lifecentre on Father's Day. It is two years since the transition of the leadership to my natural and spiritual son, Jason.

To be passionate as a Christian father means you possess a vision for your family that centers all you do out of your own life-giving relationship with Jesus Christ.

Luke 15:11-32 The Story of the Waiting Father

Happy Father's Day

For many of you Father’s Day is not easy. Some of you had bad relationships with your fathers.  A few of you may not have known your Dad - even if you lived with him. In a room with 100 men, only a few, when teenagers, spent more quality time with their fathers than with your mothers. We are a generation of under-fathered children.

For some of you this is a good day, with great memories.

For those who had abusive or violent fathers, God-as-father is a problematic concept.

Being a Dad isn't easy these days. Being a Mom isn't easy either. Being a kid isn't easy - or a teenager, or married, or single, or being step-parent, middle-aged, or a senior...

Life is difficult and life is messy!

THE STORY

The story of the Prodigal Son, should be called the Parable of the Waiting Father. The Parable of these Two Sons is the 'greatest short story ever told' (and re-told).

Every person has to come to terms with four relationships: This story is about all four.

1. Self 
2. Things
3. Others
4. God.

A son comes to his father, and says, in effect, 'I wish you were dead, and this was the day after your funeral. Give me the one-third of your property that's coming to me! Sell a piece of the promised land that you've inherited from our forefathers. I want it. I can't find what I am looking for here. Give me what is mine.

Now the father sold the land, even though the situation was less than ideal and long before the due date for the son to receive his inheritance.

I don't know what you think about the father's decision: was it wise? Who said parenting was simple?. This father decided his son could learn some useful lessons out of this so he sold off part of his property, and gave him the money.

I can imagine the neighbour to whom he sold the land leaning on the stone fence dividing their two properties: 'I heard about your younger son. Partying every night. Everyone's talking about him. You must be feeling pretty ashamed of him now. And the old man would walk away sadly and wonder where he'd gone wrong...

The boy learned some hard lessons in the far country.  Jewish law prohibited contact with pigs, let alone being a keeper of pigs. The husks he felt like eating were the fruit of the carob tree, used for animal fodder - an awful taste, but sometimes eaten by the very poor (something like the stories you hear of destitute people in our country eating from cans of pet food). But in the pig pen the young man 'came to himself' (it's the Greek word emerging from a coma).

He rehearsed a speech offering to become a 'hired servant'.  But the father was out there looking for him before he had come home.

In an ancient middle eastern community the houses are in the centre, the market place and other buildings around them, then a wall, then the open fields. Every day the father would go out into the fields to look for his boy, maybe to escort him past the jeering mob to the safety of his home. The day he saw him, he ran towards him. (Old men in that culture did not run: it was beneath their dignity.)

The boy had his speech ready, but the father wasn't listening. Before the boy could say anything the father threw his arms around him, and kissed him.  The father wasn't so much interested in why he came back but that he came back.

One of the key teachings of Jesus was that acceptance precedes repentance. Acceptance in this case came before confession. As the old saying has it: 'Those who are seeking God have already been found by him.' One of the most beautiful aspects of the Christian gospel is that God loves you before you change, as you change, or whether you change or not.

I'm glad the boy met the father before he met his older brother.

Dad called for the ring, the robe - perhaps the one the boy once wore - the fatted calf and the shoes.
The ring would bear the seal of the family. Ancient credit card. The robe would cover where he had been. Shoes are for sons (servants or slaves often did not wear shoes).

THE CLUES TO THE STORY

When Jesus taught His disciples to pray, He taught them the Our Father. He sought to reinforce the character of His Father upon their hearts first, the head would follow later.

There are two groups of people in the world: those who are sinners and who know it, and those who are sinners and don't know it, or don't want to know it.

So Jesus told a story about certain man who had two sons.

Actually, they were both lost: the main difference was that ...the younger one externalized his alienation and figured geography would fix his identity crisis...the elder one internalized his alienation yet stayed at home and would have been a pretty miserable character to live with. Whenever his father gave him a hug he'd stiffen up and be unresponsive. We learn about the kid brother's sins only from the elder brother: he describes him as 'your son', not 'my brother'.

These two brothers are like us: sometimes we blame others, like the elder brother, but then sometimes we take responsibility for our actions, as the younger brother did.

These are the two basic postures in family life: blaming and repenting.

When Dads blame they might say 'Oh, the kids these days...' Blaming is the opposite of repenting. When you blame, you offload responsibility to others, or the situation, or the kids' friends, or their teachers, or school, or TV, or the church...

Dad, you are invited, by God, to accept responsibility for the outcome of your fathering.

When you take responsibility for failing as a Dad there are some things you've got to remember:

[1] You can't change the past, but you can ask for forgiveness for the past, and move on;
[2] you don't have to carry destructive guilt about the past: that will kill you; but you'd better know the difference between good guilt and bad guilt;
[3] you can do what you can to heal relationships in the present.

WHAT DO MY CHILDREN SAY ABOUT ME?

Kim, my daughter, the Children’s Pastor at Lifecentre said, “Three things I am thankful for:

1. You put Him first. Your obedience to the Lord enabled me to find Him as my personal Lord and Saviour - without that I would be nothing! The legacy of our family is secure because you said "Yes" to Him and His call on your life.

2. Your time.  You always made time for me.  Sitting with me late one night in my bedroom in Alymer as I cried over a strained friendship you told me the story that ended with the words "This Too Shall Pass." Those four words have enabled me to get through a miriade of life's hardships to this day.

3. Do as I do.  Watching you authentically live out your calling and passion sparked me to settle for nothing less then everything God has for me.  So many parents tell their children to live one way but they live a completely different way - not you!  I have so appreciated that as I am now parenting!"

Areas of Disappointment

1. At times I felt the church and its congregants came first.  The amount of time we spent at Lifecentre as you pioneered was great, it really was our whole life 7 days a week.  

2. The toll that the church took on our family at times with the judgements, criticizm and hypocrisy - watching the hurt that the body of Christ caused you, mom and our family left some deep scars in my heart.  Thankfully God is faithful!

You really are the best dad ever and I am so proud to be your daughter!

Jason, my son, the Senior Pastor at Lifecentre said, “ Three things I am thankful for:

1) Your modeling love never fails as a parent.
2) The consistency with which you live your life. Modest, dreaming, and diligent.
3) You teach me it is ok to love your kids and love what you do. It's not one or the other.

Pastor's Kid Disappointment

The reality of living life "seeing behind the ministry curtain" creates moments of disappointment when people say, then do the opposite. This creates a pretty high meter for detecting hype vs. reality. As a result I crave the tension between faith and reality. Sometimes this is a good thing, sometimes I can miss the simple joy of letting a moment be what it is on its own.

WHY ARE DADS IMPORTANT?

For one thing they have a unique role in a child’s life. You can be replaced in the job you do but no one can replace you as their father.

Tomorrow I will share about my dad.

WHAT IS GOD DOING IN HIS GLOBAL CHURCH?

A great blog from Bob Roberts Jr., on happenings around the globe in the Church and amongs it's leaders.

I just returned from a very small gathering of pastors from around the world.  All of us have started our church, we start churches out of our church, and we engage with other nations in the domains of society.  These churches are generally huge - but not all.  There are things we are teaching one another and ways of mentoring each other and it is one of the most incredible things “ministry-wise” I’ve ever been a part of.

We met in the middle-east and the pace was very fast - as well as some other things I was involved in there so I didn’t have a chance to blog.  I’ll do some catch up with it the next couple of weeks.  Here are some observations and statements made that were unexpected that were intriguing for me:

“Asia will not be won by the house church and/or simple movement alone.”  This wasn’t from one man, but all of them - each of them also having more simple churches than any other model.  All of these men have huge churches, and simple, cell, and small church planting networks that also have larger churches in them.  That they use all the models and expressions of the church has always been clear.  They were really reacting against those that would define all models of church as being one form.  In the past I’ve heard push back on U.S. mega-church “only” type guys.  I was hearing a strong push back on “simple” church only.  They start simple churches by the thousands, but many of those grow into large churches - each has a different function and purpose.  Their contention is we are all organic if Christ is the head and the whole body needs the whole body.

“Cells, churches, and ministries must flow from the domains of society.”  It’s what I wrote about in my last blog and Matt Carter talked about on the video that was there.  I think we are finally starting to move away from doing “religious” work to doing “kingdom” work.  All of them were talking domains at this meeting and what they were doing and how church planting was coming out of it.

“We are on the front end of something we can’t describe yet.”  I heard this from every pastor.  Most of these men have faced persecution or are in difficult places.  Each has a sense that God is really up to something unique globally.  It was thick in the air as we met.  As we were sharing our models and teaching one another, there was a strong sense of “holy awe” and God’s work which can’t be systematized - but his call that must be obeyed.

SMALL CHURCHES CAN THRIVE

More research by Ed Stetzer and the LifeWay Team on Small Churches.

As a speaker at a number of conferences each year, I continue to see pastors and leaders going from one workshop to another searching for "THE" answer. They show up and hear amazing stories about implausibly happy people who willingly follow a new vision for their lives and their church.

They have heard all the strategies and promises, but for many small-church leaders, the conferences, led by rock star celebrity pastors, are like "ministry pornography"-- an unrealistic depiction of an experience they'll never have that distracts them from the real and wonderful thing. In other words, the lust of the megachurch distracts them from the mission of their church. (I'm not anti-big church--I preach at a megachurch every week-- but I am also pro-small church.)

The reality is that smaller churches can thrive, too. More than 65 percent of the churches that participated in the research survey for Comeback Churches (B&H)--the book I co-wrote with Mike Dodson-- had under 200 regular attendees. Smaller churches are not always unhealthy churches; it depends largely on their mindset. In our research, we found that the small churches which experienced revitalization often did so around prayer and outreach.

Passionate, Persistent Prayer

Small churches need to stop looking at megachurches and their pastors as role models. They can learn from them, but they must not copy them. In a world that devalues the small, listening to God in prayer and stepping out in obedience are much more important than the latest magic bullet that often misfires in smaller churches.

That attitudinal change can and does happen through intentional prayer for renewal. As we looked a little deeper at survey results, it was interesting to note that the comeback leaders of smaller churches highlighted the need for prayer even more than those at larger churches. When asked, "To what degree did the following [areas] change during your church's comeback?" leaders of the churches under 200 rated prayer as the area most changed.

Smaller comeback churches are often praying churches. Comeback leaders of smaller churches believed even more strongly that real, intentional, strategic prayer made a significant difference in their revitalization process. God can change attitudes in your church through passionate, persistent prayer for renewal.

An Outward Focus

Small churches are not exempt from the call to reach people because they are small. Too many churches of all sizes spend too much time moaning about what they don't have that other churches do have or about what they can't do that other churches are doing. No, you may not be able to do everything that other churches are doing. But that doesn't mean your church can't do something of purpose.

If smaller churches are going to thrive, they must focus their attention on reaching the lost in their communities. Again, delving deeper into our survey results reveals another important point. When asked the same question above, the leaders of churches under 200 rated evangelism as the second area that changed the most during the comeback.

Where From Here?

Prayer and outreach are not exactly revolutionary ideas, but they do change our focus. When small-church leaders have set their hearts on being like the large church, often the results are not positive. However, when they set their attention on God through prayer and on their community through outreach, the right focus produces small churches on God's mission in their context. And that's worth celebrating.

THE BOOK IS CALLED 'UNFASHIONABLE' - Part 2

Enjoy this conversation between Ed Stetzer and author Tullian Tchividjian.

ES: There's a lot of things in the book from the atonement to greed to loss of truth. The book covers some strong ground and kind of calling people back to an unapologetic, unfashionable view of life, church and ministry.

TT: Yeah, yeah. Yes, that is. This book was penned with tremendous passion. I say in the book that if I did not write it, I was going to explode because it was brewing, it had been brewing in me for about 15 years. And it really is my clarion call. I'm 36 years old. I'm a South Florida native. I am on the front lines of practical ministry as Pastor at Coral Ridge. And so this is my clarion call to young evangelicals to embrace the fact that we are odd, that we're never going to fit in. But the irony and the thing that I think we need to embrace, the paradox here, is that when you study church history, what you discover is that the church has always served the world best when it has been most counter cultural, when it has been most different from the world. I'm not talking about curling up in our holy huddles and sucking our thumbs and waiting for the rapture to come. I am talking about full blown cultural engagement. But it's the way we engage culture that I'm really, really addressing.

The book assumes the fact that we are to engage this world. In fact, I have a few chapters that talk about the absolute call from God to his people to engage this world to transform this world into the world to come because God is on a mission to do just that. But I'm talking more in the book about how do we do it? Do we do it by being the same, or do we do it by being different? And if we do it by being different, what does that really look like practically speaking? And so that's what the book seeks.

ES: The book has gotten widespread acclaim. You got a great list of endorsers. But at the same time, but people are still missing the point. There's the one side that says we've just got to engage culture, we've got to use every tool, we've got to be relevant and cutting edge, and they have all the cliché. Then you've got this other side that says unhelpful things like contextualization will be an anathema to the Apostles, we don't need to worry about those things. So you're trying to come in and bring a third way, and saying, we do need to be engaging, even relevant to culture, but we deeply oppose the culture where culture opposes the word and its teachings.

TT: Yeah. I identify in one of the chapters entitled Where in the World Are Christians, I talk about the fact that there are always two ways to fall off a tightrope. There are always two extremes we need to avoid in any given situation, and that is true when it comes to Christianity and culture of the church and the world. And the one extreme we need to avoid is to avoid being culturally removed, totally disengaged from the world. The other extreme we need to avoid is to avoid being culturally relaxed, so absorbed with the culture that we're really no different.

So there's a big section in the book on contextualization, and I wholeheartedly agree that contextualization is not only necessary, but is absolutely unavoidable. I mean we all live our lives within a particular context. I give some examples of, some simple examples even, of when I am trying to teach my three kids something about God, I'm going to teach my seven-year-old a little bit different. I'm going to use words and pictures and tone of voice and things like that that are different with her than I would with my 15-year-old. And I'm going to talk to my 15-year-old about those things in a different way than I'm going to talk to a 55-year-old. I mean every English translation of the bible is an effort to contextualize biblical truth translated from the original languages into a language that English-speaking people like me can understand. And so we have to be contextualizing. And so I make sure that the reader understands we're talking about full-blown engagement. I mean in fact, I've taken more hits actually as a result of writing this book because I talk so much about transforming culture.

There's a big debate going on these days regarding whether or not we should be engaging culture or whether or not we should just be the church. And I don't think that the bible allows us to build a dichotomy there. How do we transform this world? We transform this world by being the church. So it's not an either or. It's definitely a both and. It's making a difference by being different. It's making a difference in our community by being a different community.

ES: So it's a challenge to find that balance. What would you say to these young pastors who right now are really pursuing relevance? Would you tell them to stop? Would you tell them to add something to it? Would you tell them to reconsider? What would you say to them?

TT: I would say that to be truly relevant you have to say things that are timeless, not trendy. That's what I would say. I address this in the book, that in order to be truly relevant you have to be otherworldly. You have to operate according to a different ethic, that there is a deep relevance to being irrelevant, so to speak.

When we try too hard to fit in we actually become irrelevant because we're not saying anything different. I mean it's almost like we lose our voice. We lose our unique niche, the church does, when we're trying too hard to fit in. We become indistinguishable from a world that desperately wants something different.

If you just look around at the world today, and you read a quote which piggybacks on what I'm about to say, but if you look around at the world today, the world is desperately crying out for something otherworldly. I mean the fascination with sort of pop spirituality, angels, aliens, all those sorts of things indicate that there is a deep longing in the human soul that craves something beyond this world. Well, when Christians put their greatest tool up on the shelf in the name of being relevant, we end up becoming really, really irrelevant. And, I have to wonder sometimes about whether or not Christians and pastors who try so hard to fit in and be relevant are really doing it because they have a deep passion to reach the world or if they have a deep passion to be accepted. And I know that's a struggle that I find. I can try so hard to be fashionable and be cool and fit in and do it under the guise of I'm trying to reach the world, but I know what's going on in my heart. I know what's really going on. What's really going on is I just want the world to think I'm cool. I don't want people around me to think I'm odd and unfashionable and strange. I want them to think I'm like them. Like I can be cool, too. Christians can be cool, too.

ES: I've actually heard people say that, yeah. And that's a desire, I think, to communicate. I think for some people it's a desire to build a bridge, and I get that.

But I think ultimately it's, there always comes a point where there are things for which we stand, there's always the stumbling block of the cross, but even more so it's just there are places where we say, we differ. And if we don't have that then we lose the saltiness.

Ironically, we look at the, many mainline denominations chased after relevance in the 60's, and today nobody pays attention to them. In a great twist of historic irony, in a desire to engage the world they became like the world, and then the world didn't pay attention to them anymore.

TT: We're talking about timeless truth that has been relevant for generations and has been relevant throughout the centuries. And like I said before, I think if we want to be truly relevant we have to say things that are timeless and not trendy because if we spend our life as a church chasing the latest trend we'll always be behind the 8-ball. I'll never forget, and I mention this as an illustration in the book. I'll never forget the time that a Hollywood actor pulled my Granddad aside in the late 1950's when my Granddad was becoming a very, very famous preacher of the Gospel, and he said, "Billy, don't ever try to do Hollywood because Hollywood will always do it better than you. You give the world the one thing Hollywood can't, the timeless truth of the Gospel." That's relevant.

ES: Speak to the pastor who says, "We are unfashionable. We don't try to look like the world. We stand against that worldly music. We stand against worldly culture. We tell our people don't watch TV. We're separate." They're basically striving to be the new spiritual Amish, and they're doing it because they want to be unfashionable. What do you say to that person about culture?

TT: I would say that God is on a mission to make all things new, that God is on a mission to transform this present world into the world to come, that when Christ came the first time He inaugurated this process of universal transformation. When He comes back a second time, He will consummate or complete this process of universal transformation, making all things new, bring heaven to earth so to speak. But in between the times, in between Christ's first coming and His second coming, God has called His people, He's equipped His church to carry on what Christ began and will one day complete. And so, what I tell people like that is God has transformed us to become agents of transformation. He has, He has renewed us so that we would become agents of renewal. There is a reason why Jesus calls His disciples salt and light. We know that salt and light only make a difference when it makes contact. Salt can only preserve something that's rotting when it makes contact with what it is that it's rotting. You know, light can only shine in the darkness if it makes contact with the darkness.

Another line that I use in the book, which has really helped me over the years, is we need to "contextualize without compromise." We need to make contact with the world while colliding with the ways of the world. And so to the people who say well we are just going to set up big thick walls to protect us from those nasty pagans on the outside, and we're going to sing our songs and do our deal and just hope and pray every day that the rapture comes and rescues us from this nasty place, well they are just categorically failing to understand the overarching message of the bible, which is that God is on a mission to make all things news, and He's called His people and equipped His people to be his agents of renewal in between the times.

ES: Excellent. Thank you so much, Tullian, for taking the time to talk. This is a very helpful book. I'd recommend it to people to read. I've given it to many both contemporary church pastors and many maybe those who are not engaging culture. And I find it to be a good balanced look at these things.
If you don't have it, pick up Unfashionable today. It an excellent book on an issue that's hot right now (and always "relevant"). And check out the solid discussion questions in the back of the book.