CONTINUED FROM SESSION 6 - "WHY I WANT TO QUIT THE MINISTRY."

STEPPING OUT FOR A SEASON

I shared a Pastor’s Blog I had read recently that touched my heart and highlighted our talk on the crisis in ministry in North America. As we discussed it in the Ukraine, many of the same feelings were expressed by these leaders.

“Many people have asked me why I am stepping out of pastoring, at least for a while. There has been a great deal of conjecture on my behalf. Some think it has a subversive twist to it. Others imagine that I am absolutely distraught with life and cannot cope anymore. Neither extreme really addresses the central issues I have faced.

Here are a few of the reasons why some of us tend to fade away:

We are tired of pretending that we cannot be hurt. People assume ministers are available for their criticism 24/7. People say things to clergy they would not say to their worst enemies. For some reason they feel at liberty to delve into every aspect of clergy life. They have an opinion about everything we do. They believe it is their God-given right to critique your personal life, your professional life, your emotional state, the way you dress, your use of colloquialisms, your kids, your personality, how much you spend on a car, your friendships, how you drive, and the list goes on and on.

Pastors live their life in the limelight. They, therefore, constantly disappoint people. It is hard to disappoint people all the time. As a pastor, and maybe it is just me, I seem to let people down all the time. Recently I was at a small group where several complained that I was not their close friend. Besides the obvious fact that I do not have enough hours in the day nor the emotional energy to be friends with everyone, let alone friendly, how can you assume I would want to be your close friend? Ministers spend their entire life pretending to like a portion of the population that they really cannot stand…

Pastors tend to build up that insecurity the longer they work. They feel the pressure to put numbers on the role; they also realize that people leave the church because of them. That is a heady responsibility to bear. They understand that people don't like them but it still hurts when they have people they have invested in leave the church because of them. This life can be an exercise in guilty and humility. Everything that happens which is good is "to God be the glory" ...they know who is to blame if things go bad. Add to this that for some reason many churches rise and fall on the health and exuberance of their pastor. After a while pastors tend to jump from one quick fix solution to another in a desperate bid to patch holes that are often systemic. They attend conferences and clinics designed to point out their flaws and obvious solutions. They quickly conclude that they are the problem, the issue, and the solution. They develop a messiah complex. They develop an insecurity complex…

Ministers are normal people who struggle with laziness and being a workaholic all at the same time. No one knows what they do during the week so they tend to strive too hard to be noticed or duck out when they can get away with it. They realize that some volunteers do more than they do and it drives them crazy. They vassalate between the drive to do everything and the need to let others do the work of the church. They are control freaks, often out of necessity. Sometimes out of ego need.

Oh yes, and we love to be compared. Compared to huge churches with massive budgets and incredible bands. Compared to TV evangelists who spend more on dog food than we will see in a year. Compared to amazing speakers, incredible entrepreneurs, and holy monkish nerds who can pray more than we can. That kind of stuff makes us very content.

Yes this is a whine but it's my blog and you don't have to read it.

Perhaps, though, there may be a grain of truth in what you have read. Take a look at your pastor if you have one. Listen to his or her brokenness strewn in amongst the exterior confidence. Let them know you don't need anything from them. Shut up about them when others encourage you to spill. Tell someone else to shut up occasionally. Don’t phone them on Mondays. Don’t critique the way they dress when they go to the bank on their day off. Don’t act amazed when they stumble. We all stumble.

But for God's sake, don't feel sorry for them. They chose this life and it has incredible rewards.

And oh yes, they won't believe you when you praise them but they will obsess when you criticize them. Sounds like quite a great life huh? Makes you want to join right up I bet...

As for me, I’m just taking a break to get out of the fishbowl for a while. It’s a calling - a blessing and a curse. Of course now I have to get a real job where people have to get up every morning and put in 8 hours and pretend to care about stuff I never imagined caring about before.”

Questions to ponder.

1)    What are the main areas in this blog that all those in ministry can relate to?
2)    What are some ways we can help each other enjoy rather than endure ministry?
3)    How can we prevent ministers from leaving the ministry like this pastor?
4)    How can we be more effective in supporting one another knowing the pressures that are common to all?

Comments

[Donna]

So sad that people can be so mean and unthoughtful towards others...It sounds like this Pastor has been very hurt over his/her time in ministry...I think there are many more people that go through similar pain even when they are not ministers.

It is just heartbreaking because it is not what Jesus wants for us and it is not what our hearts want for each other either...This hurtfulness goes against our very being, eveything that gives us hope, joy and the ability to love and reach out to each other is put at risk when humans continue to be hurtful to each other.

And to the Pastor who wrote this, even though you may feel alone you are not and I am sorry for the hurts you have endured...I pray that Jesus Christ Himself reaches deep into your heart and blesses and protects you and all that you have to offer will be shared and used again whether you are in ministry or not...as long as you have life you have preciousness to share...we all do...that is the way God made us!!!!!

Thanks for all you do Pastors and people everywhere but mostly thanks for who you are!

[Hope]

Ive been reading Nehemiah these past few days. Reading a chapter and putting it down - wondering why this weeping prophet accepted the mission and kept on going. Criticized and condemned, unsuccessful in his attempts to convert - why? Why? Pastors are comparable to him. My heart weeps for them. Why is it that people think a pastor has any more strength than any other person? With anointing comes adversity, but where is the community of Aarons and Hurs to hold up the arms of those who are called to the ministry as a profession? Too bad fish bowls dont have blinds and shutters with locks. Just for the record - I pray for yall on a daily basis.

[Donna]

PS sometimes I feel like quitting (not ministry but my God connection which brings life) when the cruelness of this earth stabs away but then Jesus seems to shine through somehow, someway...our God is kind of neat dont you think?!

[Joseph]

Well spoken pastor, well spoken! I can relate well to these thoughts. Im not sure a week goes by that I dont feel as if my work as a pastor is an exercise in futility, but then I look at the fruit of our labor, and I realize that its worth the sacrifice. It is the life that Ive chosen to accept, but it certainly isnt one I would have sought out for myself if I hadnt been called. I pray that God gives you the peace and rest that you need as you prepare for the next season of life. Blessings to you and your family from a friend and co-worker.